Tuesday, May 31, 2011

STIR UP THOSE GIFTS!!

I’m a youth group leader and recently had the privilege of working with a group of  12 pre-schoolers.  These little ones are 3- and 4-years old.  As with most pre-schoolers they are busy, inquisitive, energetic and exploratory.   One little girl in particular stood out to me that day.  No matter what activity we tried  – painting, puzzles, reading, singing, a pretend marching band – she said “ But, I can’t do it”.  I began to tell her repeatedly that she CAN do it; she can be ANYTHING.   I encouraged her to keep trying.  I told her not to give up.  Eventually, as the afternoon went on, she stopped saying she could not do things and started trying harder.  She didn’t even know she had some of those talents and abilities because she hadn’t even tried.  Some of the activities did not come easy for her;  But with some guidance, practice and experience, her skills and abilities grew.
I started thinking:  just because something doesn’t come naturally, immediately, or automatically, doesn’t mean we can’t be gifted and talented in that area.    Then, I thought about Moses, who didn’t think he could be an eloquent speaker.  He had a speech impediment, after all.  Therefore, when God told him to go speak to Pharaoh on His behalf, Moses said “But, I can’t”.  Yet, in reality he could.  He hadn’t tapped into that talent.  He was sure that because of his condition, he surely could not.  But, he could and he DID.  He stirred up his gift. 
Let’s take an example from more recent (secular) history.  Everyone knows Michael Jordan as a great basketball player; some say the greatest player EVER.  However, he didn’t have an automatic or immediate gift in the game.  In fact, Jordan was cut from his high school team.   He could have given up then.  He could have said “it’s not for me.  I’m not good at it. It’s not meant to be.”   He stirred up his gift and... well, the rest is history. 
Sometimes it takes time and hard work to realize our gifts and talents, but that doesn’t make them any less real.   If anything the abilities we work hardest to cultivate might be the most valuable.
Why should you have to work at it if it’s a gift? Shouldn’t gifts come naturally?  Well, maybe sometimes they don’t – maybe that helps us to appreciate our gifts and talents more.  Maybe we will take them more seriously if we have to work for them.  Maybe we will be willing to share them with-  and teach them to others.    
I have a friend who owns a beauty salon.   After several failed attempted, she finally found the right combination and made it work.  She too could have said “It’s too hard, it must not be meant to be.”  But, she had a fire in her heart and passion in her soul and she remained faithful.  As a result she now has a thriving business; a legacy to leave her kids; and a great story of encouragement to tell everyone.  
To realize the gift or talent, sometimes you have to stir it up… and keep stirring! 

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Leadership. Worthiness. Life -- Lessons from Oprah

“You are responsible for your own energy and the energy you bring to others.”  Oprah’s words during her farewell  finale today.   As a training professional, I teach about trust and my audiences discuss legitimate leadership.  Legitimate leadership is what a person has when others follow them because of trust and respect, not because they have to or because they are afraid not to.  That’s the kind of power Ms Oprah has.  Her followers buy the products she recommends, read the books she likes, and go to the places she prefers, because they trust her judgment.  The believe that her motives, her intent, and her honesty.  Why would millions of people put their trust in a journalist, an actress, a talk-show host,  a stranger?  Well, I would imagine they believe Oprah to be transparent, respectful, loyal,  ands straight-forward.  In addition a true leader is willing to admit when she’s wrong, she rights those wrongs, and she practices accountability, I believe.  That's the kind of leader I strive to be continually.  No, I don't aspire to be the richest woman in the world, I don't desire fame.  But legitimate leadership is a great honor, and privilege.  It is purposeful and driving.  It helps me stay focused on what is most important to me.  What I know for sure is:   Each of us is responsible for our own life.  Don’t wait for someone else to save you, fix you, or complete you. 
Worthiness is your birthright.  Oprah says.  I believe you are worthy because you were chosen to be here.  We were born for a purpose and as I say repeatedly, you have a duty to find it.  When you know you're worthy, you make decisions accordingly.  You know your price tag.  You know you're in the glass case, not on the clearance rack.  Oprah says that you’re life is whispering to you.  Will you hear it?  I know my life is whispering to me.  It whispers warnings, complaints, encouragements, advice,  and directions.  When I don’t listen my life uses other people to speak to me.  I appreciate those messages  my life gives me because even when I’m not quick to listen, my life remains consistent.  Life continues to tell me things that save me, and protect me sometimes in  subtle, funny, and creative ways.  You see for me, Life is God.   As Oprah said “The grace of God is closer than your own breath.”

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Your Calling Is Calling You.

An ancient chinese provides says: "Choose a job you love; you'll never work a day in your life."
Statistics show that 85% of successful people are successful because they are pursing their passion, while 15% are successful because of the skills/knowledge/abilities they have.   [the survey defines successful as financially lucrative and satisfied with their work] What does that say to me? You can be really good at something, but if you don't love it you won't be really great at it!

Everyone has a gift.  Find yours.
A few years ago I developed a workshop called Pursue Your Passion.  It was designed to help young people, those in transition and even students find the work they love.  Of course, many employers didn't like it.  They told me:  "I don't want my employees to find their passion; they might leave!"  True.  True.  But, the program was hugely successful with universities, churches, and progressive businesses that want engaged, fulfilled workers. 

Here are a few questions from the workshop assessment.  Ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly.

1.  What do others ask me to give/provide most often (i.e. do people ask you for financial advice, decorating tips, or to cook your famous chili?)
 
2.   What idea, hobby, or thing do I LOVE to think about or talk about?  



3.  What would I do more often, if I had more time?

I love the first question because oftentimes when I ask people what they are good at, they say "nothing".  Can you believe that?  People honestly believe they are placed on this earth with no gifts or talents.  So, I ask them to think about what OTHERS say they are good at.  This type of questioning breaks the barrier. 

Finding your purpose in life has three benefits. One, you'll be happier doing work that you enjoy. Secondly,  when you're working hard at something you love, you reap the benefits. Your efforts could translate into more recognition, better pay, promotions and excellence performance.  Thirdly, that excellence will spill over into other areas of your life. Your confidence, relationships, spiritual walk... everything gets better because you get better.

Your calling is calling you!  Don't keep it waiting any longer!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Plant the Seed. Be Diligent. It Will Grow.

The breeze is almost tropical.  In fact it is tropical.  My hair is blowing into my eyes.  My blouse is rustling in the wind.   It’s a fantastic feeling.  The sago palm tree leaves are swaying.  The azalea bushes, gardenias, and Spanish moss trees are beautifully in bloom and flourishing.  The gardener has cared for them tenderly, faithfully, and with commitment for many years.  She prunes, trims, pulls, plants, waters.   Why does she do it?  She gives to her plant life so she can enjoy what they give back to her.  If she takes good care of them they will produce beauty, shade, and fragrance that last and last.   In order to benefit from their attributes she has to give them the attention and nourishment they need.  She does it with care and love.  The same way she cares for and loves everything and everybody in her life.  That’s evident in the gift bags she has prepared for some of the little girls at her church.  These girls are the benefactors of much attention and spoiling.  When they get older and no longer need her primary attention they will become a part of a secondary group – a group I call the graduates.  As the girls mature they will no longer require the gifts, time, attention, and doting that they once needed.  Make no mistake this woman still loves the graduates very much and shows them her love.  But their needs are different and she addresses them differently.   Likewise, we plant seeds and they grow, we attend to the younglings when they are new and delicate and help them become strong.  But everyone and everything must grow up, mature, and move on to a new season of life.  Just as tiny seeds become mighty trees, dependents become independent; and protégés become mentors.  This caring woman in her senior years gives to the little girls the same way she gives to the flora and fawna in her yard.  And for much the same reasons, I would imagine; so they can flourish and she can enjoy their fruitfulness.  She can then reflect on how far they have come and marvel about the possibilities of how far they can go(grow).