The Organization’s Story
Leaders don’t tell stories to be engaging or entertaining. They tell stories
because it is the only way others can really hear them. Our brains are hardwired
to make sense out of the world by constantly creating and rewriting stories. It’s the leader’s job to remind others of the organization’s story and how their story (the other person’s) connects with and adds to the bigger, organization story. Every conversation presents an opportunity to
There is only one measure. People are not simply better informed; they are more aligned, more engaged, more inspired, more committed.
2. The Constructive Confrontation.
Organizations that are rife with confusion and ambiguity typically have leaders who avoid
confrontations like the plague. These leaders keep themselves distracted with all kinds of busy work rather than engaging in the conversations that may matter most: constructive confrontations.
We all tend to avoid these difficult conversations not because we think these are unimportant butCrather because we fear the perceived emotional carnage that will result. The only way to effectively counter this fear is to get clear on our intentions. Why are we having the conversation? The problem with most confrontation situations is that the leader comes bearing negative judgments and an agenda directed at fixing the other person rather than an attitude of service. Constructive confrontation is not about criticizing, blaming or making accusations. Successful leaders confront others not to fix them but out of genuine concern for them and a desire to provide information that will ultimately be valuable to
them and help them perform at a higher level. It’s hard to go wrong when your intention is to create a free flowing dialogue unencumbered by defensiveness, negative emotions and competing agendas.
When well done, confrontation lowers defenses, creates mutual respect and understanding, increasing commitment and engagement. The key here is your intention. You want something changed, likely the mind or behavior of the other person. Be upfront about that.
3. The Coaching Conversation.
The coaching conversation is a very special conversation. Unlike every other conversation you have through the course of your day, the coaching conversation is virtually devoid of self-interest. It is all about
the other person….and this is not a natural state for most of us. We all want to learn, relate, laugh and be entertained when we speak to others. Nothing wrong with this. It’s normal to have a healthy dose of selfinterest
in our conversations. The hallmark of a coaching conversation is unmistakable: the other person leaves the conversation better in some way. They leave with a new idea, a fresh perspective or a renewed personal commitment. They leave affirmed, challenged or energized. You have helped them see exciting new possibilities, uncover unused talents or approach their work with a whole new attitude. So how does one engage in a coach-like conversation? Two leadership practices are imperative: Start with this question in mind:
“At this moment in time, what can I say to be most helpful to this person? ”It might be a question, an affirmation, an insight, or a challenge.
Ready to learn more?
REGISTER FOR THIS EVENT:
April 5th Leadership Essential Workshop
Start Using These Strategies
Mistakes Your Making As a Leader
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