Give The Gift of YOUR ATTENTION this Holiday Season

It's the holidays!  No doubt, you'll be spending time with friends and family this holiday season. Maybe you'll catch up with loved ones you haven't seen in a while.  Why not give the gift of UNDIVIDED ATTENTION when you are chatting, mingling, and making merry.  Here are SEVEN TIPS for being a better listener through active listening.

1. CONCENTRATE ON WHAT OTHERS ARE SAYING. When listening to someone, do you often find yourself thinking about a job or task that is nearing deadline or an important family matter? In the middle of a conversation, do you sometimes realize that you haven't heard a word the other person has said? Most individuals speak at the rate of 175 to 200 words per minute. However, research suggests that we are very capable of listening and processing words at the rate of 600 to 1,000 words per minute. Because the brain does not use all of its capacity when listening, one's mind may drift to things other than the conversation at hand. This unused brainpower can be a barrier to effective listening, causing the auditor to miss or misinterpret what others are saying.

2. SEND THE NONVERBAL MESSAGE THAT YOU ARE LISTENING. When someone is talking to you, do you maintain eye contact with that person? Do you show the speaker you are listening by nodding your head? Does your body language transmit the message that you are listening? Are you leaning forward and not using your hands to play with things? Most communication experts agree that nonverbal messages can be three times as powerful as verbal messages. Effective communication becomes difficult anytime you send a nonverbal message that you're not really listening.

3. AVOID EARLY EVALUATIONS. When listening, do you often make immediate judgments about what the speaker is saying? Do you assume or guess what the speaker is going to say next? Do you sometimes discover later that you failed to interpret correctly what the speaker was telling you? Because a listener can listen at a faster rate than most speakers talk, there is a tendency to evaluate too quickly. That tendency is perhaps the greatest barrier to effective listening. It is especially important to avoid early evaluations when listening to a person with whom you disagree. When listeners begin to disagree with a sender's message, they tend to misinterpret the remaining information and distort its intended meaning so that it is consistent with their own beliefs or disproves the speakers beliefs.

4. AVOID GETTING DEFENSIVE. Do you ever take what another person says personally when what her or she is saying is not meant to be personal? Do you ever become angry at what another person says? Careful listening does not mean that you will always agree with the other party's point of view, but it does mean that you will try to listen to what the other person is saying without becoming overly defensive. Too much time spent explaining, elaborating, and defending your decision or position is a sure sign that you are not listening. This is because your role has changed from one of listener to a role of persuader. After listening to a position or suggestion with which you disagree, simply respond with something like, "I understand your point. We just disagree on this one." Effective listeners can listen calmly to another person even when that person is offering unjust criticism.

5. PRACTICE PARAPHRASING. Paraphrasing is the art of putting into your own words what you thought you heard and saying it back to the sender. For example, a friend might say: "It's unfair that we always spend the holidays at my spouse's parents just because they are geographically closer to us. I would like to see my parents too!"  A paraphrased response might be: "I can see that you are upset about the way your family decides to spend holiday time. You think its unfair because you don't get to see your parents." Paraphrasing is a great technique for improving your listening and problem-solving skills. First, you have to listen very carefully if you are going to accurately paraphrase what you heard. Second, the paraphrasing response will clarify for the sender that his or her message was correctly received and encourage the sender to expand on what he or she is trying to communicate.

6. LISTEN (AND OBSERVE) THEIR FEELINGS. When listening, do you concentrate just on the words that are being said, or do you also concentrate on the way they are being said? The way a speaker is standing, the tone of voice and inflection used, and hand gestures are all part of the message being sent. A person who raises his or her voice is probably either angry or frustrated. A person looking down while speaking is probably either embarrassed or shy. Persons who make eye contact and lean forward are likely exhibiting confidence. Even in an argument, consider why the other person feels so strongly about the subject -- they might be fearful or worried.

7. ASK QUESTIONS. Do you usually ask questions when listening to a message? Do you try to clarify what a person has said to you? Effective listeners make certain they have correctly heard the message that is being sent. Ask questions to clarify points or to obtain additional information. Open-ended questions are the best. They require the speaker to convey more information. Form your questions in a way that makes it clear you have not yet drawn any conclusions. This will assure the message sender that you are only interested in obtaining more and better information. And the more information that you as a listener have, the better you can respond to the sender's communication.

Using these seven listening tips will help you become an active listener.  Active listening demands that the receiver of a message put aside the belief that listening is easy and that it happens naturally.  Realize that effective listening takes work. The result of active listening, though, is more efficient and effective communication.

5 Word Affirmations

Don't sweat the small stuff.
~ Richard Carlson ~

Be gentle first with yourself.
~ Lama Yeshe ~

Live life to the fullest.
~ Robert Louis Stevenson ~

Make each day your masterpiece.
~ John Wooden ~

Another Sunrise, Another New Beginning
~Jonathan Lockwood Huie ~

Four Basic Tools for Business Success

A successful business has to have the right tools in its toolbox. Although the toolbox should be full of many things, there are four that every business should use consistently and faithfully for radical results. Of course there are tactical tools a business will need such as lightening-fast computer systems, reliable people,  and in-demand products or services. The Four Fundamental Tools are critical from start-up and throughout.  They should be constant and continual.

Make these things part of your success strategy:

1. Education. An educated staff is an effective staff. People on your team need to be knowledgeable about your industry, but they need to have good business knowledge in general, too. If you find the right person without the right degree, you may want to offer a sign-on bonus that covers the cost of online classes. Whatever you do, invest in a well-trained staff.

2. Excellent Customer Service. Even if your small business never interacts with the general public, there are people that you call customers. Make sure your well-educated staff is prompt, responsive, and excellent with their work. Good manners and business etiquette will give your team just the right polish to put you ahead of your competition.

3. A Solid Marketing Plan. If you don’t have a strategy, how do you plan to succeed? So many small businesses fail because there was never a plan. A dream is great, but it won’t keep the doors open. If you’re weak where business planning is concerned, consider enrolling yourself into some online classes.

4. Budget. Make sure you make an annual budget, and then follow it! The bottomline is profitability and that takes diligent budgeting and responsible allocation and spending. 

Make thes tools a part of the business foundation.  Consider them to be fundamental.  Leverage them for future success.

70 years later, Businesses Can Learn From Pearl Harbor

This morning, 70 years ago, the Japanese assault US militia at Pearl Harbor claiming 2,390 American lives.  What can we as businesspeople, learn from the day that lives in infamy?

Be prepared.

When Japan attacked the US by air and by sea, the servicemen were not expecting it.  Aboard the USS Arizona, they had just finished breakfast and were starting their day’s work.   The loss of lives, equipments, and supplies were devastating. 

 

As businesspeople, when we are prepared we have a plan A and a plan B.  If the worst should occur, a prepared professional already knows how to respond.   Consider, as painful as it may be, the worse-case scenario for your business, department, or team.  Loss of a major client?   Company-wide layoffs?  Your go-to guy hits the lottery, retires, and takes all his knowledge with him?  Put a contingency plan in place now.   For those things you can prevent, prevent.  For those things you can’t prevent, prepare.

Expect the unexpected.

Sometimes in business we succeed when we thought it was a long shot.  Sometimes we fail when we thought for sure we would prevail.  When you expect the unexpected you won’t be traumatized by failures and you won’t rest on the laurels of your successes either.  Instead you will leverage both to catapult you to the next level.  Failures and successes – wins and losses – are learning opportunities.  Get the lesson for them and remain diligent, focus, and ready.  Above all expectations, expect to win. 

Don’t count yourself out even when you’re down.  

When the USA was attacked at Pearl Harbor, Japan expected us to respond by retreating from WWII.  Instead, we escalated our involvement. 

When circumstances are tough and things don’t go your way in busy, it doesn’t have to be the end.  You may be down, but you are not necessarily out.  There is a way, a time, and a reason to regroup.  Remind yourself of what’s at stake.  Remember what you have to gain and loose.  If you didn’t win that contract or you’ve had a very lean quarter, look for it.  Look for the way to re-gain momentum, the time to strike out with a new venture, and the reason to try again.