Every now and then there is that person in one of my training classes who is disagreeable or, quite frankly, a know-it-all. This is the individual who believes she knows more than the instructor (me). This person also has a comment or contradiction for every point I make. Now, it is possible that this individual actually does know more than I do about the topic at hand. Nevertheless, their organization hired me to come and impart wisdom, knowledge and education to the group in attendance. I have an obligation to deliver the message I was hired to deliver and accomplish the goals I was hired to accomplish.
Recently I was in Florida conducting a seminar for a client. One woman in attendance began the day by telling me "I hope you can teach me something I don't already know." I told her that I plan on doing just that. Little did I know that was the first of many comments she would make that would escalate in rudeness throughout the day.
Our First Bump in the Road
Every time, I would share information with the group she would say something like "that's not the way we do it here." The first time, I simply asked "how do you do it here?" And, then I added "how can we better that process using some of the tools I'm sharing with you today?"
She made the same remark a few more times to which I replied "Diane (name changed to protect the innocent) there must be something about the current way of doing things that's not working for your upper management. I believe that's why they asked me to come and share some ideas for improvement today." This seems to end her "we don't do it that way" diatribe but that wasn't the end of interruptions from Diane.
Unfriendly Fire
There were several times in the afternoon when I would share a technique with the group and Diane would add "what Angela is trying to say is.... {and she would proceed to rephrase what I had just stated}. I've been in the training industry for more than a decade and I have experienced all sorts of hecklers, potty-mouths, and you name it. But this particular comment was a new experience for me. The 1st time Diane said it, I ignored her; the second time I thanked her for sharing her thoughts; the next (and last) time I asked the group: "Is anyone having trouble understanding me? Am I being unclear?" To which they replied, "no". So, I said, "in that case Diane I don't think we'll need you to rephrase every statement for us. If we continue at this pace, this 3-hour seminar will take twice as long. And, I also want to give others a chance a speak, ask questions, and be heard." She apologetically, and reluctantly agreed to remain silent. I could see the looks of relief and gratitude on the faces in the room. Diane just pulled out her iPad on started working on that instead.
I will admit that Diane was quite knowledgeable about the subject matter we were discussing that day. And, she seemed to feel it was her obligation to let everyone who how knowledgeable she was. But, as I said, there's a reason I was asked to come and I have to do what I was hired to do, without exception. Well, there have been a few exceptions: like the times I had to end training classes because of bomb threat, hurricane warning/evacuation, and a power outage. But those are different stories for a different day.
The motto of today's story is: Be firm but polite in shutting down an interrupter. You have to let them know who's in charge. Letting the person continue to take control of the event hurts the content, changes the agenda, and is a disturbance to others. This kind of behavior can't be ignored.
