Effectively Address, Manage and Resolve Conflicts

Conflict resolution IS NOT conflict avoidance.  Differences of opinion are great,  we shouldn’t avoid them.  However, we do need to manage them so they don’t lead to discord or dispute.  When the issue at hand is important to you, you will naturally want to compete. You want to win. You want to be right.  When the relationship is important to you, you will tend to accommodate, that is, give in to the other party, forgoing what you want.  If the issue and the relationship are important, you will need to collaborate and compromise. 

Here’s a simple real-life example.   Your spouse wants Mexican food for dinner and you want Chinese.  You accommodate because the relationship with your spouse is important and the issue of what to have for dinner is not important.  So you’re having Mexican for dinner… again.

Conversely,  your spouse wants to move to Canada for a new job.  The marital relationship is, of course, important.  But this time, the issue is very important, as well.  In this case you will collaborate and compromise.  There is a discussion that needs to take place in which both parties express their interests, needs, feelings, and fears. 

Like an iceberg, sometimes the largest portion of the problem is beneath the surface.  We have to go below “see” level to get at the real issue.  This takes some root cause analysis and fact finding.   For example:  John come to you and says  “I can’t work with Alice any more.  She is rude and disrespectful.”    As you probe you might find that Alice rejected and belittled a few of John ideas.  That resulted in John believing that Alice is rude and disrespectful.  You could find out the history behind the issue – other instances or occurrences between them that might be adding fuel to this fire.   As mentioned earlier, both parties have interests, needs, feelings, fears, and frustrations.  It’s clear that this issue is important.  John may need help seeing that his relationship with Alice is also important – he will have to work with Alice continually and count on her for various aspects of his assignments.  As you help John prepare to confront this issue with Alice, ask him to describe his side of the situation.  THEN, ask him to think about Alice’s interests, needs, feelings, fears, and frustrations  John will need to pursue a frank discussion with Alice, being honest about what he sees as the issues.   He will need to attack the issue but NOT Alice.  His confrontation can’t include begrudging or disparaging remarks about her behavior, character, or ethics.  He must be upfront about his intention to resolve the issue and reach a mutually agreeable solution.  Then John and Alice will frankly discuss their interests, needs, feelings, fears, and frustrations. 

This is an opportunity to collaborate and compromise.  Unless both parties give, both parties can not win.   

Building The Brand Called YOU.

You have a LinkedIn page, right? Perhaps you’ve signed up for Twitter and one of your colleagues invited you to join Flickr or another business social network like Ryze. More and more online business networking opportunities are sprouting up every day. You may have even designed a personal Web page or started a blog.   That’s a good start, but constant web communications is only the beginning of establishing, building and spreading your own personal brand. 

What is a personal brand? 

When it’s an organization’s brand, it is the emotional connection, believes and qualities associated with the organization’s name.  When it comes to individuals, it’s the emotional connection, believes, and qualities associated with the person.  When you hear the name Coca-Cola what do you think and feel --  Thirst?  Happiness? Fond childhood memories?   What do people think and/or feel when they hear your name?  What do you want them to think or feel and how can you influence that?

Be Memorable.

Marketing executives know that building sales leads and enhancing one’s company brand are paramount to company success. Top executives, the ones who are consistently emulated, quoted, and asked to partner with other executives, do one thing well. They promote themselves and their expert opinions.

Creating an online profile in a number of is definitely important, but if you ignore your real-world presence, you’re selling yourself short. Busy business people pour through hundreds of e-mails and view scores of web pages each day. Your digital footprint might get passed up. BUT, meaningful, memorable interactions will stick with them.

Be a Thought Leader.

You can generate this sort of interaction and attention in a number of ways. However, the three ways that have the biggest impact and are often a catalyst for more opportunities are:

1.             Participating in industry trade groups and associations

2.             Speaking at prominent industry events

3.             Writing well-crafted, by-lined articles in trade publications

Trade/Industry organizations could be your entrance to bigger and better things. Everything is cyclical – a trade article could lead to being selected for a speaking engagement, which leads to being quoted in a news article, which leads to a panel opportunity, which leads to being interviewed on television as an industry expert. Keep the cycle moving by continuing to move within it.  You certainly don’t have to attend every conference or event.  But you do need to get involved, be involved, and remain involved. 

Make it Matter.

When you meet new contacts, have the kinds of conversations that will make people remember you. . Be genuine. Be thoughtful. Contact them to give them something, not just ask for something – namely their business.  And, I’m not talking about bringing them coffee and donuts.  I’m talking about sharing poignant, relevant information, ideas, and strategies they can use to better their business.  Find ways to help clients and potential clients, and they will find ways to help you.

Lastly, networking is not about collecting as many business cards as you can. It’s about quality over quantity.  Make the time you spend at those networking events really count.  Whether you are a car washer or an orthopedic surgeon, you are a solutions provider.  Find those 1 or 2 individuals at the networking mixer who have problems you can solve, who need help you can provide.  After you have engaged in conversation with someone, they should be requesting your business card, rather than you offering it. 

WINNING AT WHAT’S IMPORTANT

WINNING AT WHAT’S IMPORTANT

Every week, I work with clients to help them achieve results.  We work on crafting the right strategies, identifying a targeted vision, and executing successful action plans.   In order to equip them to accomplish these tasks, I share with them the principles I’ve learned from years and study and partnership with Covey, Canfield and Ramsey.  What I share with them, I’ll share with you:

Visualize the result you want. 

See it in your mind’s eye every morning.  See the master’s degree you want to earn hanging on the wall in your office.  See your business growing from 10 employees to 25.  See yourself on your dream vacation in the Greek Isles.  See yourself 30 pounds thinner and wearing your skinny jeans.  That vision is an ever-present reminder of where you want to go.  It can help you stay focused on why you work so hard, stay up late studying, or deprive yourself of certain foods.  You are relentlessly pursuing a target. 

Stay Motivated and Accountable.

It’s not always easy to stay focused.  When you feel like giving up turn to those things, people, or memories that motivate you.  For me, my mind is cluttered when my environment is cluttered.  When I’m loosing focus, I tidy up my office.   I’m also motivated by a change in scenery.  I get my best ideas when I’m on vacation.  In fact, research shows that typically our best ideas come while we’re in the shower, running on the treadmill, or working in the garden.  When we remove ourselves from the work environment, our creativity is stimulated. 

Share your goals with someone who supports you and/or someone who has already arrived where you are trying to go.  Talk to them weekly.  Tell them the top three things you will do each week toward that goal.  Allow them to hold you accountable. 

Be patient. 

You will not get to the end of the journey right from the beginning.  You have to take the journey step by step.  It will take time.  Some goals take longer than others to reach.  You should also set smaller, incremental goals and accomplishing them one at a time.  For example, if you’re goal is to earn an MBA, you might start with an objective like this:  Complete statistic class with a grade of B or above by the end of the year.   Take the steps, do the work and the results will come. 

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