Sorry to Bust You Bubble, but Failure IS an Option

We often hear sports team, companies, and even non-profit organizations, tout that failure is not an option.  The statement 'failure is not an option' is no doubt meant to be a driver and motivator; it's supposed to focus people on success. But, in reality failure does happen. Failure -- like success -- is indeed valuable.  

Accept that people won't always accept you
You may not be the first one picked for the team; in fact you may not be picked at all.  Will you still be able to pick yourself up, brush yourself off and try again, with self esteem intact?

Know that you don't know it all
When you realize this is true, leverage the power of partnership.  Surround yourself with those who know what you don't know. If your partner, mentor, or coach has the same strengths and attributes as you, one of you is unnecessary.  

You will make mistakes
Listen to what pro athletes say when they are interviewed after loosing a game.  It's a lot more insightful and telling than what they say when they win.  When they loose they are specific about what opportunities they missed, what options they should have exercised, and how they could have improved.  There are valuable lessons in the losses.  

When you are forbidden to fail you might not even try
When people are told that mistakes won't be tolerated, they may not do their best.  Tom Edison reportedly failed 2000 times before inventing the light bulb; each time he got closer to the formula that worked.  Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star; he then started his own company where he created Mickey Mouse. Oprah was told by her employer, a Baltimore TV producer, that she was unfit for television; she was put on a little-known program which gave her a chance to hone her craft.  They didn't see failure as final.  When we learn that failure is okay, we're not crushed by it or immobilized by it. Sure, it can be scary, but learn from it and keep moving forward.  

I'm not suggesting that you should strive to fail.  However, when/if you do, embrace it.
www.yourenhance.com

From Classroom to the C-Suite: Storytelling Matters in Business

In order to move others, we need to become better at clearly stating what we want, value and expect. 
Storytelling is thought to be an effective way of accomplishing this.  Daniel Pink explores a storytelling model know as the Pixar Pitch, in his book "To Sell is Human" . The Pixar Pitch is a technique used by Pixar Animation Studios, in movies such as Toy Story and Finding Nemo.  Pixar has produced 13 feature films that together have grossed nearly $8 Billion. The company has won 26 Academy Awards for these films including 6 Best Animated Film Awards.

There are probably a number of interrelated reasons for Pixar's success, but no one will discount the stories themselves. Pixar story artists claim that each story has the same narrative composition – a  storytelling structure that involves a six part sequence:
1. Once upon a time there was …
2. Every day …
3. One day …
4. Because of that …
5. As a result …
6. Until finally …

Take, for example, the plot of Finding Nemo:
1. Once upon a time there was a widowed fish, named Marlin, who was extremely protective of his only son, Nemo.
2. Every day Marlin warned Nemo of the ocean’s dangers and insisted he stay close to home.
3. One day Nemo rebels against his father’s warnings and swims into the open water.
4. Because of that he gets captured by a diver and ends up in a dentist's fish tank in Sydney Australia.
5. As a result Marlin sets off to find Nemo, enlisting the help of other sea creatures along the way.
6. Until finally Marlin and Nemo are reunited and discover if you truly love someone you have to set them free.

This six-sequence template is both appealing and subtle. It allows the story teller to take advantage of the persuasiveness and impactful way to relay a moral or tenet.  

In learning environments, like the ones I work in on a weekly basis, stories are used to illustrate a point and complement learning content. 

Here's a (true) story I tell in diversity and inclusion workshops:   
Once upon a time there was a man living on the street in a bustling business district.  Everyday he sat in front of the same office building asking passersby for their spare change. One day, a top executive who worked in that office building offered the homeless man a job in the company mail room.  Because of that the man was able to get off the streets and show his talents and abilities to decision makers within the company.  As a result, the man quickly moved up in the organization, because even though he had fallen on hard times, he had once been a highly admired and successful businessman.  Until finally, he was able to show everyone who passed by and ignored him when he was living on the street that you can't judge a book by it's cover and everyone deserved a second chance.


I also encourage learners and facilitators to use this same approach to facilitate problem solving and creative thinking.  A pre-K Board of Directors was asked how they might address issues in early education using the six sentence template.  They came up with something like this:
1. Once upon a time there was an education crisis in schools across North America.
2. Every day large percentages of children were not achieving proficiency in vital literacy skills to the point that some in our community even doubted whether they ever could.
3. One day administrators parents and teachers in one town developed a simple curriculum of what children had to know to be ready for school and they agreed on what each of their roles would be to get the children ready.
4. Because of that early childhood educators and parents became better at helping kids get ready for kindergarten.
5. As a result this community saw a great improvement in literacy and test score and shared their proven system with others
6. Until finally every child in America received the pre-school prep they needed regardless of socio-economic background.

The holiday season, when friends and family are gathered, is a great time to practice story telling.  It's a compelling way to help people see a point of view rather than insisting or arguing what they should think, feel, or believe. If your work requires you to influence others, negotiate terms, sell something, solve problems, or motivate others, storytelling could be the missing tool in your toolkit.   

December Challenge: Be Grateful

My birthday is this month!  Every year I make a list of all the things I'm thankful for, on my birthday. I list as many things as the number of years I've lived.  It forces me to really reflect on life's blessings and acknowledge new things I've gained or experienced during the year, like my riding lessons and safari, pictured below.

But this year, I'm going to make a list of things to DO to demonstrate my gratefulness.  At this point in my life, being thankful isn't enough,  I need to show it.  Gratitude makes me happy; so it's a win-win.

My list includes but isn't limited to:

Giving things away - there are so many needy people and many of them are close by.  They go virtually unnoticed everyday.  I'm taking notice and sharing what I have.  I'm not only giving away things I don't want anymore.  I'm giving away things that I like and use; realizing that someone else needs it more than I do.

Saying a kind word - I'm committing to compliment someone on their thoughtfulness, appearance, intellect or other attributes every day.  This means paying closer attention to those around me and giving credit where credit is due.

Entrusting someone with something - You may have a car you won't let your spouse drive, a favorite sweater you won't let your daughter wear, or a piece of jewelry you won't let your friend borrow.  I did too!  But, now I'm making a conscience effort to share those precious belongings.  The real value in them is letting other enjoy them.

Encouraging someone -  I want to be positive and optimistic with those who are struggling or just need a kind word.  I want to be truly present with people in order to notice their needs.  This may allow me to make deeper emotional connections in my relationships as well.

Improving myself - Because I'm grateful for the health and talents I have, I want to work on strengthening them.  That might mean resuming piano lessons or sticking to my healthy eating goals.  I don't want to take for granted, the gifts I've been given.

Caring for someone who's sick - I don't know about you, but there have been times when I've connect with a friend and they told me they had been ill (even hospitalized) for several days. I didn't even know! So, part of this commitment involves staying connected.  From there, the service part is pretty easy.  

What can you start doing this month, and continue into the new year?  Take the Gratitude Challenge.  You and your circle of influence will be glad you did.

OPTIMIZING IN OCTOBER

All this year, I have been writing a monthly series focusing on one initiative or goal per month. This month, the month of October, my focus is Optimizing.  Optimizing is not to be confused with optimism.   It's not about putting on your rose-colored glasses and believing that everything will always turn out fine, no matter what.  For our purposes this month, we want to leverage strengths, serve others, and share.  Optimizing encourages us to try something new, trust people more, and dare to tell the truth.  The purpose: different and better results -- optimal results!

When you TRY something new you might help someone out of their funk -- that someone just might be you.  Trying different approaches can reduce discouragement, diffuse disillusionment and push ourselves and others to new paradigms.  

TRUST starts with self.  You have to trust yourself to make good decisions and give good advice to others.  Then trust others to follow through, keep their word, and do a good job.  If we don't give ourselves and others a chance to prove their value, we will never know what could have been.

Optimizing also includes TELLING your truth.  Push or inspire others by sharing an anecdote.  Encourage someone else to try by telling them your success or struggle story.   Be bold enough to state your point of view and respectful enough to listen to the points of view of others.  
(inspired by Courage Goes To Work by Bill Treasurer)

Optimizing is also about creating your own happiness.  We'll get together in the next installment.  Stay tuned.

www.yourenhance.com

BAD BOSSES and What I've learned from them

A colleague recently asked a group of us to share the name of our best manager. I thought back through my work history to the days when I had a boss -- before I became an independent consultant. As I reflected, I realized that even my best managers have not been very effective. I've learned a lot of lessons about what not to do from them.  Now, I have the privilege of sharing those lessons with my consulting clients who are corporate leaders, executives and business owners.
BAD BOSSES AND WHAT I'VE LEARNED FROM THEM:
The boss who can't keep a confidence. This is the individual who gains your trust, talks to you openly about her life, and invites you to share openly about yours.  She assures you that anything you tell her, particularly deeply personal things, will remain confidential. However, you later hear colleagues repeating the information that you only told to that one person. Trust diminishes immediately. Even if that boss is effective in every other area of management, the new knowledge that you can't trust them permanently affects your relationship. That trust is really tough to rebuild.  The lesson:  Listen, show empathy, and then keep it to yourself. No matter how juicy the tidbit of information is, don't share it.  Also, keep in mind when you tell Jim and Jane things that Sally told you in confidence, Jim and Jane learn that they can't trust you either. So it's bigger than just one person and one relationship.
The passive boss. One manager of mine would not deal with performance issues head-on. He was a nice guy.  He cared alot about his employees and didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. So when a staff member was not performing well, receiving poor feedback from customers and more, the boss did nothing about it. Team members and peers brought the issues to his attention as well. Over the course of a whole year nothing was done. An underperforming staff member is a burden to the rest of the team.  Everyone else's workload increases. Additionally, it sets the precedent that poor performance is ok.  The reputation of the entire team (including the boss) could be negatively affected as well. The lesson:  Don't be passive or passive-aggressive regarding performance issues. Talk to the employee respectful.  Giving feedback is an effort to help.  Present the evidence --  customer comments, reports, missed deadlines, inaccuracies, etc. Develop a plan for that person's improvement and get their ideas as well for how they might improve. Incorporate those ideas into the plan where possible.
The indecisive manager.  This manager was eager to gain employee input and ideas, which was great. Employees felt included and appreciated. However, after all the ideas were gathered and all the possibilities were explored, nothing got done. The things we talked about and agreed upon were not executed, which left the team feeling that the boss was all talk and no action.  The lesson:  When you're having trouble making a decision, write down three alternatives. Then jot down the pros and cons of each of them including the risks and costs. Use that data to figure out which option would be most beneficial and move forward with the decision. Announce it to your team explaining how you reached that conclusion and work with them to develop a plan for execution.  Give credit to those who generated the ideas.
The griping manager.  In an effort to be accepted and included, this manager often shared her feelings with her staff.  I imagine she wanted to find ways to connect with us.  She griped about her boss. She complained about her workload. She even questioned company policies.  Instead of being the voice of the company, she become the voice of disillusionment. The lesson: Share your complaints and frustrations at home with your family and friends. You may think of your staff members as friends but you are still their boss. Don't give in to the temptation to join in on gossip or gripe sessions. In fact, help others understand the 'whys' behind corporate decisions.  Let them vent while you support and defend the direction of the business.
The absentee manager. From what my colleagues tell me, this is a pretty common one. My absentee manager didn't have a single performance-related, strategy planning, or goal setting conversation with me in three years. He was out of the office a lot but that was not the problem. The problem was he was absent from his managerial responsibilities. The lesson: As a leader, you have an obligation to develop your people, provide them with support, and make sure they understand expectations.  You should take the ensure they have the  information and resources they need to meet their goals. Frequent open dialogues are key; even if they are conducted via instant message or phone.  If you are traveling, have those meetings in the airport, hotel, or coffee shops.  Your staff will appreciate your effort. 

BAD BOSSES and What I've learned from them

A colleague recently asked a group of us to share the name of our best manager. I thought back through my work history to the days when I had a boss -- before I became an independent consultant. As I reflected, I realized that even my best managers have not been very effective. I've learned a lot of lessons about what not to do from them.  Now, I have the privilege of sharing those lessons with my consulting clients who are corporate leaders, executives and business owners.
BAD BOSSES AND WHAT I'VE LEARNED FROM THEM:
The boss who can't keep a confidence. This is the individual who gains your trust, talks to you openly about her life, and invites you to share openly about yours.  She assures you that anything you tell her, particularly deeply personal things, will remain confidential. However, you later hear colleagues repeating the information that you only told to that one person. Trust diminishes immediately. Even if that boss is effective in every other area of management, the new knowledge that you can't trust them permanently affects your relationship. That trust is really tough to rebuild.  The lesson:  Listen, show empathy, and then keep it to yourself. No matter how juicy the tidbit of information is, don't share it.  Also, keep in mind when you tell Jim and Jane things that Sally told you in confidence, Jim and Jane learn that they can't trust you either. So it's bigger than just one person and one relationship.
The passive boss. One manager of mine would not deal with performance issues head-on. He was a nice guy.  He cared alot about his employees and didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. So when a staff member was not performing well, receiving poor feedback from customers and more, the boss did nothing about it. Team members and peers brought the issues to his attention as well. Over the course of a whole year nothing was done. An underperforming staff member is a burden to the rest of the team.  Everyone else's workload increases. Additionally, it sets the precedent that poor performance is ok.  The reputation of the entire team (including the boss) could be negatively affected as well. The lesson:  Don't be passive or passive-aggressive regarding performance issues. Talk to the employee respectful.  Giving feedback is an effort to help.  Present the evidence --  customer comments, reports, missed deadlines, inaccuracies, etc. Develop a plan for that person's improvement and get their ideas as well for how they might improve. Incorporate those ideas into the plan where possible.
The indecisive manager.  This manager was eager to gain employee input and ideas, which was great. Employees felt included and appreciated. However, after all the ideas were gathered and all the possibilities were explored, nothing got done. The things we talked about and agreed upon were not executed, which left the team feeling that the boss was all talk and no action.  The lesson:  When you're having trouble making a decision, write down three alternatives. Then jot down the pros and cons of each of them including the risks and costs. Use that data to figure out which option would be most beneficial and move forward with the decision. Announce it to your team explaining how you reached that conclusion and work with them to develop a plan for execution.  Give credit to those who generated the ideas.
The griping manager.  In an effort to be accepted and included, this manager often shared her feelings with her staff.  I imagine she wanted to find ways to connect with us.  She griped about her boss. She complained about her workload. She even questioned company policies.  Instead of being the voice of the company, she become the voice of disillusionment. The lesson: Share your complaints and frustrations at home with your family and friends. You may think of your staff members as friends but you are still their boss. Don't give in to the temptation to join in on gossip or gripe sessions. In fact, help others understand the 'whys' behind corporate decisions.  Let them vent while you support and defend the direction of the business.
The absentee manager. From what my colleagues tell me, this is a pretty common one. My absentee manager didn't have a single performance-related, strategy planning, or goal setting conversation with me in three years. He was out of the office a lot but that was not the problem. The problem was he was absent from his managerial responsibilities. The lesson: As a leader, you have an obligation to develop your people, provide them with support, and make sure they understand expectations.  You should take the ensure they have the  information and resources they need to meet their goals. Frequent open dialogues are key; even if they are conducted via instant message or phone.  If you are traveling, have those meetings in the airport, hotel, or coffee shops.  Your staff will appreciate your effort. 

Teamwork makes the dream work

Teamwork makes the dream works -- it's corny but it's true.  We can do more together than we can each do individually.  Here are 4 tips for getting your team to work together.  

Be flexible -- give team members opportunities to work independently of management.  Give them permission to make adjustments as needed.  

Find things that people have in common -- if they are mutually excited, interested and committed to an assignment, the synergy will happen naturally and consistently.  It doesn't mean they will never disagree or have conflicts but they will be more motivated to work through them.

Tell them what's in it for them -- when your team sees the benefit in whatever they are doing, they will be more engaged. Help them understand what they and others might gain, such as more profitability, exposure, or getting a higher bonus.   Sometimes, benefits are about the things they want to avoid. For example, successful completion of a task might help them avoid a major safety incident or a lawsuit.  

Be open - your team, peers, and other colleagues need to know they can come to you to discuss issues and even mistakes.  As a leader, you must be open to receiving feedback from others, as well. They need to know their needs and preferences matter to you.

more coaching, training, and development 
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