One focus at a time: February is for finishing

January was resolution month.  It's the month when people all over the world make promises and commitments about changes they will make in their behaviors or choices.  Usually, by this time of year those resolutions have been abandoned.  Let's take a different approach.  For the next 11 months, I challenge you to join me in developing a different key area of your life, each month.

FEBRUARY IS for FINISHING.

Look around your office, your home, your car, your life.  Are their projects that you've started but not completed?  February is the month to commit to finishing those things, whether it's cleaning the garage, purging unused items from the closet, pr donated unwanted toys and outgrown clothes.  It also could mean finishing a book you started reading, completing a sewing or knitting project, or even writing your memoirs.   This month, I'll finish reading two books, finish cleaning out the hall coat closet,  and finish a 750-piece jigsaw puzzle my family is working on together.  What will you finish in February?

This approach of attacking one area at a time, will allow for quicker wins.  Essentially, you will see results and have successes faster, if you leverage this methodology.  You also won't have to commit to any one thing for 365 days. That can be overwhelming and unrealistic for many of us.  The one focus at a time initiative provides just as much if not more opportunity for meaningful, sustained change to happen in our lives.

Next month:  March is for Money Management.

A Solution For Your Resolutions

16 resolutions for 2016

There are two fundamental issues with new year's resolutions.  The first issue is, you must start them on January 1.  If you don't, you're a slacker.  The other issue is that a resolution must be something you do all year long, such as exercise, read more, attend church or cook family meals. 

I've got a solution for your resolutions.  Here are 16 resolutions you should make in 2016. You can complete all of them this year.  With this list, you don't have to start them all at once.  And some of them only require a singular action ; not something you have to keep doing for 365 days.

1. Do one thing you're afraid to do. 

Feel free to make this something small.  It doesn't have to be sky diving.  How about talking to a complete stranger at work or attending a networking event?

2. Apologize for one thing you need to apologize for.

There's probably someone in your life that you have unintentionally wronged.  No? Well, perhaps there is tension with your business partners, an old friend, or co-worker.  You should pick someone and tell them you're sorry that the issue has gone so far and the silence has lasted so long.  You don't even have to say you were at fault.  You'll be extending the proverbial olive branch.

3. Start one thing you've always planned to start.

Again, feel free to make this a small task.  If you've always wanted to start a business, and you are really ready to make that move, go for it.  It's also ok to simply start reading that book your secret santa gave you. 

4. Tell one person how awesome they are.

You can do this with your favorite person in the world, an acquaintance, or your kid's babysitter.  Think of someone that has displayed awesomeness (not perfection) and tell them so. 

5. Prove one person wrong.

At some point in your life, probably right now, you have had a naysayer.  If someone has expressed their skeptism that you would loose weight, stop smoking, join a band, or change your hairstyle, this is your chance to prove them wrong.  But, they never have to know.  This is for you, not them; you don't have to rub their noses in it. 

6. Ask one person for help.

In the parable of the good Samaritan, the Samaritan is seen as the hero. But the person he help is also noteworthy.  This man had to accept help from a stranger, a foreigner, and someone from the other side of the track.  It's a humbling experience to be vulnerable.

7. Offer to help one person.

When you see someone struggling to carry a box up the stairs or someone has dropped their grocery bag outside the market, stop to help.  The opportunity to accomplish this resolution is all around you, if you pay attention.

8. Do one thing no one else is willing to do.

I was talking to a friend recently, and she commented on my tendency to take on the thing no one else wants.  When we take kids on an annual youth retreat, no one wants to chaperone the 5 year olds; naturally, I take that group every year.  At work, school, church, or in your neighborhood, find out where the help is needed.  Call the food bank or the homeless shelther or boys and girls club and find out what day of the week, or time of year, they tend to lack volunteers. 

9. Just once, refuse to care what other people think.

Sing karaoke without worrying about sounding horrible.  Dance publicly, and don't concern yourself with looking funny.  Get on a hooverboard and know that you won't look cool the first time.  It's ok.  You don't have to be perfect.

10. Spend less time on social media.

If you're doing something productive (like reading this post), social media can be useful.  I If you want to solicit help from friends to find a mechanic, social media could be right avenue.  However, if you're spending several hours a day scrolling through your facebook, twitter, snapchat and other newsfeeds, it's time to scale back.

11. Tell one person no.

If you tend to overcommit yourself, this one is the resolution for you.  Say no to that task, project, or committee that takes up too much of your time or leaves you drained. 

12. "Fire" one person.

Most of us have negative people in our lives that we need to stop engaging.  Be respectful to them, but don't let them take you to unhealthy places. 

13. One time, just let it fly.

Every harsh word from a friend, spouse, or co-worker doesn't have to be corrected or confronted.  The teacher doesn't always have to scold the frustrated student.  The boss need to lecture every complaining employee.  Overlook that slight, just once.

14. Do one thing that's not your job.

At work it's not your job to greet the customer.  But do it anyway.  At home, it's not your responsibility to take out the trash. But, it might help out your spouse on the day they work late. Do it, even though you don't have to.

15. Embrace one thing another person does.

We have all have colleague who speaks her mind.  You know a couple who has a weekly date night.  You might have a friend who treats herself to a pedicure once a month.   If you've ever thought, 'I wish I could do that' or 'I need to start doing that', there's no better time than now.   

16. Call your parents.

If you still have them, call them.  They've done a lot for you and they are an important part of who you are.  Don't promise yourself that you will visit every week.  Just vow to pick up the phone. 

Deck the Halls with 5 Business Practices that Could Improve Your Holiday Season

I had an epiphany about my business and personal life recently.  I realized that I don't approach both with the same ferver.   At this time of year, most of us connect with loved ones and see people we may not have seen in a while.  It's a good time to remember some business principles that also apply out of the office.
1. Show patience and understanding.  When I speak with clients I listen carefully and I'm empathetic.  I look for ways that I can serve and assist them.  At this time of year, in particiular, I may not always do that with relatives.  Don't be rushed or anxious with loved ones this season.
2.  Be consistent and commited.  My clients get the best of me.  I answer when they call.  I respond quickly to emails.  I make myself available to them and I look forward to doing so. It's important to be the same way in personal relationships.
3.  Give them your time.   I call my clients on a regular basis.  I send articles I think they would be interested in reading.  I  keep up with and acknowledge their accomplishments.  I've been know to drop by with cupcakes unexpectedly as well.  My loved ones deserve this kind of treatment too and so do yours.
4. Value them. You probably already know the importance of your business partners, clients,  customers, and peers.  Most of us understand that these people are essential to our success.  We most likely treat them with respect and consideration.  We let them know they are special.  For example, most of us have brought treats into the office to share with co-workers at one time or another. When was the last time you dropped off goodies to a neighbor, friend, or relative? 
5.  Apologize when something goes wrong.  In business, we're likely to apologize to an unhappy customer.  Even when we aren't completely at fault, we strive to make it right.  We want conflicts resolved and problems solved in the workplace.  That isn't always the approach outside of work however.
Is there a relationship that needs mending in your family?  Are you willing to take the first step toward restoration?  If so, the holiday season is a perfect time.  It's a time of peace, joy, unity and love!

Navigating Rough Waters - Life Lessons From A Harrowing Experience

A group of family and friends recently went whitewater rafting.  They took a three-hour guided tour down a fairly agressive east Tennessee river.  During the trip they encountered a number of category III and IV rapids.  On the international scale of river difficulty -- yes, that's a real thing -- there are six categories.  Category IV rapids are advanced.  They are described as "powerful, but predictable; requiring precise handling."  It was a crisp, fall-like afternoon and everyone was having a blast.  It's amazing how quickly things can change. 


During one of those advanced rapids in the early part of the trip, one lady's husband was tossed out of the boat, sank underwater, and in a millisecond, was in greater danger than any realized, at the time.   Because of the speed and forcefulness of the rapids, the husband was completely submerged in an instant, even with his life jacket on.  His wife noticed the bright orange vest beneath the water's surface.  She reached for it, pulling his head above the water.  She knew she needed to wait until they reach a more calm patch of water before she could help him back onboard.  Their guide continued to navigate the rough water and tried to avoid large rocks while the man's wife held on to her husband and watched him bobbing up and down in the river.  A couple of times he was completely underwater again but she held on to him, telling him he would be okay and reminding him to keep his feet and head up.  She knew that it would be disasterous if he got caught between rock or pinned under the raft.

She was careful to shield his head from rocks with her paddle and with her hands, knowing that he could be knocked unconscious if he hit one of them.  She also knew that if she let him go, he would float quickly away from them and he might get trapped between rocks or entangled in thick tree roots.  If that happened he would surely drown.   A few times he screamed out in pain as his limbs slammed into jagged rocks, and his wife hoped he hadn't broken any bones.  The ordeal seems to go on for an hour, although it was probably less than five minutes.  After they reached calmer waters, she was able to pull her husband, who literally weighs twice as much as she does, back into the vessel.  It was a close call;  he never realized how endangered he was, but she did, especially after talking it over with the tour guide afterwards. The man had a few bloody scraps and scratches, and bruises on his arms legs and back.  Although they enjoyed the rest of the rafting excursion, the wife had nightwares about how close she came to loosing her husband or aleast having him badly injured.  This true story, which I witness with my own eyes, got me thinking about a few things that can perpel us past our circustances or keep us stuck in them. 

CHOICES

In your life there is probably someone you need to help back inside the boat; someone who's off course, doing something dangerous, or just needs a lifeline to get through their current situation.   There will be times when you need to help somone out of a tough spot.  At times it will be instinctive; you will spring into action without giving it a thought.  Other times you will have to contemplate and consciously decide to help. 

RISK

When you decide to take a chance in building a relationship, personal and professional, there are three things you must consider:  Is the risk worth it?   That means asking yourself, what could you gain if this goes well and what could you loose if it doesn't.  Is the relationship worth it?  Is your present and future dealings with this individual important enough to you to make the effort.  What's in it for you?  Maybe it will be a sense of self worth, improved confidence, a better relationship, or peace of mind.  Even when you take a risk for someone else's good, you reap benefits too. 

STRENGTH

How can a wife be stronger than a raging river?  How can a average-sized woman single-handedly lift a large man into a boat?  In the right circumstances, we are stronger than we ever thought.  We can do things we never imagined.  In short, anything is possible.  Will and perserverance probably contributed to your success -- maybe it was your own, maybe it was someone elses. 

GRATITUDE

Although the rafting wife worked hard to keep her husband safe, she recognized and  appreciate help. The tour guide helped her by steering the boat away from danger.  As a Christian woman, she believes that her Creator provided her with the strength she needed to endure, as well.  She was also grateful to the other rafters, who couldn't physically help but encouraged her during and comforted her afterwards.  An attitude of gratitude helps one stay humble. 

The next time you reach rough waters what will you do?  I recommend you make sage

choices, calculate the risks, embrace your inner strength, and stay grateful. 

Getting the Job You Want by Preparing Five Interview Questions

It's that time of year again.   Students are graduating.  Job fairs are scheduled.  Companies are recruiting.   If you're in the market for a new job, or know someone who is, here are some tips for your next interview.

Three questions you need to answer effectively:

What are your weaknesses?: Prepare for a genuine response when you're asked about a mistake, a unfavorable outcome, or a weakness.  Don't say you don't have any.  Being able to identify your own shortcomings,  show are are self reflective, honest, and continually learning and growing.  Saying you've never make a mistake indicates denial and a false sense of self.  My 'go-to' answer is that I want to be a better listener (which is true).  I also state that I'm working on it and asking peers for feedback.

Tell me about yourself?:  It's not the most effective interview question, because it's quite vague.  However, there are interviewers who sometimes ask it.  Your perspective employee is not trying to find out where you're from or how many siblings you have.  Your best answer will include the following:  your chosen profession/field, a couple of areas of expertise, and a strength or two.  You might also include a recent job-related accomplishment. A well-crafted answer might sound like this:

"I'm a trainer and HR consultant with 20 years experience.  I specialize in career planning and organizational development.  I'm a strong verbal communicator and I have proven strategic planning skills as well.  I recently used my expertise to help a client resolve an severe debilitating staff conflict and develop better team building methods."

What are your salary expectations?:  Don't be caught off guard by this question.  Do you're research on salary.com or the US Department of Labor website.  There are a few preferable ways to answer this one.  Give the hiring person a salary range, which can span $10,000 - $15,000. That may seem like a large range, but most employers are flexible and you should be too.  You might also tell them your salary expectations, based on what you know about the job/company.  You don't have to limit yourself to what you last salary was.  Lastly, consider a deferral.  Tell the interviewer you need to learn more about the position before you can state a salary requirement.  Ask to revisit the question at the end of the interview.

Two questions to ask your perspective employer:

• 'In your employee survey, what is one thing your employees would change about this organization?'  This will give you an idea of what concerns and challenges they have.  It gives you insight into employee satisfaction as well.  It also shows that you want to make sure this workplace is a good fit for you.  

• 'If I were to take this position what is the top priority you would want me to accomplish in the my first 90 days on the job?'  This will tell you about any loose ends left by the last person in the position.  It will also enlighten you on any 'fires' that will need your immediate attention.

Find out more about upcoming career workshops.

The Learning Position: Embracing My Place

In my family I consider myself to be in the learning position.  I’m the last born of three kids and that provided lots of opportunities to learn, particularly from my brothers’ mistakes.  I heard them talk back to our parents, which didn’t go well for them.   I saw them wreck cars, and loose credibility in the process.  I also watched them get in trouble at school, and get grounded.   I think it’s great to learn from your own mistakes, but it’s even better to learn from the mistakes of others. Because my brothers are 10 and 15 years older that me, we weren’t really growing up together.  They were growing up before my eyes and I was their spectator watching the whole dramatic episode unfold.  I learned to ride a bike, drive a car, and play musical instruments;  I can sketch and paint because of their influence as well.  They are very talented.  I thought I must be talented too because we all come from the same stock.  So, I tried things I might not have tried if it hadn’t been for them.  Additionally, I’m pretty good with a hammer, wretch, and drill because of what I learned growing up in that household.  I was even the youngest girl on my block (except for one girl who was my same age).   From the older girls in the neighborhood, I learned to do hair and nails, I learned style and fashion, I learned a lot about music, school, and of course, about boys.  I also watched them experience loss, betrayal, and disappointments at home, school, and work.  I watched how they responded, reacted, and persevered.  Of course, watching someone else’s heartbreak didn’t preclude me from it.  But, I knew how to handle it with grace, once it was my turn.  And I knew it wouldn’t last forever.  All their experiences and my observations helped me figure out what I wanted for my life.  It set me on a path to education, entrepreneurship, and community activism. Additionally, I am the youngest granddaughter in my family – on both sides.   Having 30 first cousins who are all older than me, is a unique experience. I continued to leverage my learning position as I watch them get married, have kids, begin careers, get promoted, and start businesses.   I also watched some of them drop out of school, experiment with drugs, and struggle financially.  Because of them, I knew exactly what to do to get a job, and what to do to loose one.  I chose the former.  I learned that dreams really do come true, but usually not while you’re sleeping.  And, now, I teach kids in my life that they can do anything they want and have anything they want – with work, perseverance and preparation.  I realize everyone doesn't learn, even when they are in a learning position.  One must be willing, humble, and curious.  I would venture that no matter what your position, there is an opportunity to learn.  Are you open to it?

Optimize Behaviors of Authentic Leaders

Career Optimizing Behaviors Authentic Leaders Perform Everyday

There are different types of leaders.   The optimal leadership type is the authentic leader.  This leader is doing this for and with his/her followers; not to them.  This leader is a part of the team not above the team.  And, this leader must is committed to practicing effective leadership behavior to be successful and stay on top of their game.  Consistency in a few proven practices is what can easily set apart an effective leader from a ineffective one. 

1. Read

Research shows that reading non-fiction material, l like leadership articles or self-help books, helps to increase your problem solving and critical thinking abilities. Some leaders have sworn off the reading of novels and other fictional accounts as frivolous and time wasting.  On the contrary, research also indicates that reading fictional books creates more empathy, creativity and compassion.  This are useful qualities for a leader who seeks to be trusted and respected. The experts recommend: Read news and current events every day.  Read two non-fiction books each quarter and at least two works of fiction each year.

2. Ask.

If you are in sales, you ask for the business. If you have a boss, you ask for permission or clarification (among other things). If you are on a team, you might ask for support or seek collaboration. As a leader, you should be asking your team what they need from you .  Also, you have to encourage your team to ask questions as well.  Let them know that no inquiry is too minor or elementary. The experts recommend: During every team meeting you conduct, do more asking than telling.  Also rotate the meeting facilitator role amongst the team members.  Giving others a chance to plan the agenda gives them a chance to be heard and voice their concerns.

3. Make Decisions Creatively.

Even when you brainstorm we can get caught in ‘group think’.  Group think suggests that when a group is sharing ideas together everyone tends to share similar or complimentary ideas.  No one objects or contradicts anyone else’s thoughts.  Which means no one dares to be creative or innovative.  Consider gathering team members’ ideas individually and privately.  Give one or two people in each brainstorming session the responsibility of playing devils advocate. This gives them permission to push and question. Consider opposing viewpoints, and processing solutions other than your own. You'll need to review pros and cons for each possibility. The experts recommend: Come up with 3 solutions to a problem. Write down risks and gains for each of them before making a final decision. Do this with your team member, rather than with other people in supervisory roles.

4. Collaborate.

Work with others on teams as often as you can.  Make networking a habit, and be willing to help others with their projects and priorities. Look for opportunities to engage with others because you will learn from them. New relationship and growing connections are an important tool for staying relevant.  The experts recommend: Volunteer for a task force, focus committee, or affinity group.  Join a nonprofit organization and tends meetings.  Maybe even volunteer to be a speaker or panelist, if you’re skilled in that arena. 

5. Take Care.

No one wants to work for a rundown, unhappy leader. It affects the dynamic, momentum and morale of the team. And, as a result it can also affect team performance. If you find yourself continually stressed out and it shows, it's time to take a different approach. The experts recommend: Engage in a 15-minute de-stressor activity twice a day, everyday. This might include a walk, meditating in your car, or reading something 'light'.

When you manage your time, your team, and your talents this way, you have an increased opportunity to earn the respect and trust of your followers, whether they are volunteers, employees, peers, constituents, board members, or other affiliates.  You will earn their hearts not just their efforts.  This will drive sustainable performance and engagement in your organization.  It will also set an outstanding example.

www.yourenhance.com | Enhance Business Solutions, llc is your source for training, coaching, employee development, and leadership skills improvement.
Angela Nelson | consultant and chief learning officer