How to Have A Great Day and an Influential Life

1. Compliment 3 people every day.

2. Watch a sunrise at least once a month.

3. Be the first to say "hello."

4. Live beneath your means.

5. Never give up on anyone. Miracles do happen.

6. Never deprive someone of hope. It may be all they have.

7. Pray not for things but for wisdom and courage.

8. Don’t forget, a person’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

9. Keep your promises.

10. Remember that overnight success usually takes about 15 years.

11. Leave everything better than you found it.

12. Remember that winners do what losers aren’t willing to do.

13. When you arrive at work in the morning, say something that brightens someone’s day.

14. Don’t rain on other people’s parades.

15. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.


by Thomas Dismuke

How to Keep Pinky From Being Blue -- Engagement Matters

Pinky The Cat

I know this video garners a variety of reactions.  Some say "the cat is demon possessed".  Others say:  "that reaction was totally unwarranted."  Others think it's funny.  Some believe maybe the guy had tuna in his front pocket.  

What I think about is the voice of the employee and how important it is to pay attention to them.  

If Pinky were your employee, you should be attending to, ask questions of, and getting to know him.  If you, the company or the boss, engaged him in conversation or simply observed his behaviors, you would know Pinky's strengths, weaknesses, preferences and perspectives.  Therefore, you would know he's much too independent and free spirited to be put on a leash!  Why would anyone try to leash Pinky?  He's a cat, not a cocker spaniel!

But, that's what employers do oftentimes.  They take a perfectly happy, well-adjusted, productive employee and --through a series of discouragements, demotivators, and mismanagements -- transform the employee into a completely different creature.  

Giving the employee what he needs to perform at optimal levels means:

1.  Asking them what motivates them.  
Top motivators typically include things like interesting work, feeling valued, promotional opportunity, and engagement.
2.  Having a clear vision and alignment of goals and expectations
3.  Knowing what strengths and weaknesses the employee has.
4. Understanding the employees perspectives and perceptions.  For example, if I'm the only woman on my team and our team outings are always golf outings and I don't golf, I might feel ignored and insignificant on my team.  Likewise, if I'm a full-time student, I need my employer to understand my needs for  flexibility and to apply my new learning on the job.  

The more employers focus on and engage employees, the fewer Pinkys they can expect to have.

Do you have Pinkys?  

Contact us for more information.

web: www.yourenhance.com

email: info@yourenhance.com

Conflicts Erupting? Meetings Taking a Tangent? Ground Them!

Ground them with Ground Rules, that is.

Recently a client asked me how to deal with interruptions, disagreements, and tangents that arise during team meetings.  One or all of these techniques will be useful in most situations.  Apply it to your situation and let me know how it works for you!

DURING THE MEETING

When conflict occurs during a meeting, you may have to interrupt and ask those involved to table the discussion until a different time.  If what they are arguing about is relevant to the discussion:  

1. summarize what was said, 

2. thank them for bringing up some good points, 

3. move on and agree to come back to those points later. 

It doesn't have to be resolved during that current meeting. 

If interruptions and dominance persists in you meetings and group discussions, you might even have to pull the involved parties aside after the meeting and talk to them about the incident(s). 

BEFORE THE MEETING

Set ground rules or codes of conduct for meetings – those rules might include:

• Don’t interrupt. 
• Everyone get 5 uninterrupted minutes to speak. 
• You can disagree without being disagreeable, which means don’t attack people or their ideas. 
• For example:  We can say “I disagree”, rather than “that’s a stupid idea. “
• If you shoot down someone else’s idea, concern, or comments, you should have an alternate idea to share. In other words, you can’t find fault without offering a solution.

Set the standard that anytime someone goes on a tangent during a meeting, you will have to call ELMO.  ELMO means Enough, Let’s Move On.  Ask everyone to agree to the ELMO standard in advance -- don't wait until a conflict erupts and try to introduce ELMO to the team.  When you feel like the tangent has gone on long enough (i.e. it’s starting to sidetrack the agenda or effect productiveness of the meeting) just say “ELMO”.  Everyone knows that means it’s time to get back on topic and back to the agenda.

Introduce these techniques now, and reduce wasted time and increase productvity in 2013!

Unlikely Heroes - Unlikely Success Stories

The Unlikely:

Once upon a time a little girl, in the midst of her parents separation, had a dream of being an Olympian   She went searching for a coach to make that dream a reality.

A milkshake machine salesman had dreams of owning a restaurant chain.  However, he was selling nearly extinct machines, in a dying industry.

A housewife who was the victim of domestic violence and a high school drop out, returned to school, gets her GED and becomes a successful business owner.

The little girl who found her coach is Gabby Douglas. She left home (still hasn't been back in two years!) to go live with strange people of another race in another state and become a champion.

The milkshake man is Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald's. He saw his future at the burger flippers' roadside stand, and decided that what he wanted to be was an ex-salesman and the progenitor of the world's most famous restaurant chain.

The abused housewife was my Aunt.  After being left for dead by one husband and abandoned by another, she picked herself up, dusted herself off, became a jack of many trades.  She's also been happily married for 40 years now.

What do these people have in common?  No particular advantages, position, or influence.  They did all have a gift -- a calling, if you will. They also decided to change.  They decided to become something different.  They decided to become themselves.

That's sometimes the most difficult thing we can decide to do. Becoming yourself means giving up other things - a familiar home, a fallacy others tell you, a respectable yet dead-end job; an excuse you tell yourself.

Deciding to become who you were meant to be, agreeing to the hardships, accepting the pain, taking the ridicule that oftentimes goes with it - That's the most difficult thing you can do.

"Our life is what our thoughts make it."

What you think is who you become.

Now, you can't tell me you have more obstacles than that little girl.  Or that the salesman had a more promising future than you.  After you get through all those excuses, ask yourself:

What are you thinking of doing?  Who did you become?And who will you decide to be tomorrow?


You could take this opportunity today to learn from Gabby and Ray; we all could.

Just as they decided to become something different, just as they decided to become the heroes of their own destiny, you get to choose. You get to take your thoughts and make the life you want with them.

I hope you'll take this opportunity in these final weeks of 2012 to ask yourself...

How can I become my own unlikely  hero?

Building Trust with Difficult People

Steps for Building TRUST with Difficult People

 

Start with self:  This means, start with basic transformative thinking that Stephen Covey teaches.  Maybe your words, deeds, behaviors are contributing to the problem.  Maybe you are misunderstood or perhaps you are miscommunicating.  I’m not suggesting that the other person’s adversarial behavior is your fault.  Nevertheless, self examination is always helpful because you are the only part of the equation you can control.  Examine your intent, as well as your credibility.  Also ask yourself if you’re truly willing to actively work on improving situation – not just expecting the other person to change, but you must be willing to make efforts and changes yourself. 

 

Let your motives be known. 

When you verbally state your intentions, this demonstrates you have an open (not hidden) agenda.  You might say something like this to other party: “There is obviously some tension in our working relationship and I want to improve it.”  It’s just that simple.  That’s the conversation starter that will lead to the rest of the process.  People will cooperate when they know your motives are honorable. As Ken Blanchard explains in Whale Done, 'you can't train a whale until you first convince him on your intentions.'

 

Separate the person from the behavior.

Tell your nemesis that what they are doing bothers them.  For example: “When you interrupt me…, or when you laugh at me…, or when you ignore, I feel disrespected.  Don’t say,  “you’re rude, you’re fake, you’re a chauvinist.”   When people feel attacked they don’t cooperate.  You can expect to finish the same way you start.  If you start with an attack the dialogue will be filled with mutual attack.  When you start out calmly and rationally, you are more likely to get calm, rational behavior in response.  Of course, everyone doesn’t respond to kindness with kindness, but it’s a more successful way to begin a conversation.  Then, ask for the behavior you want.  Make a request.  Say something like:  “I would prefer that you refrain from name calling and character judgments when we speak”.   That’s different than telling someone:  “I need you to stop being a tyrant.”

 

Listen.

As you are making suggestion, voicing requests, and declaring expectation, you have an opportunity to listen and learn.   Again, this is a dialogue, one that you may have initiated but you don’t have to dominate.  It’s important to gain understanding of the other person’s thoughts, feelings, needs and rationale.  This is one of the key leadership principle Dale Carnegie teaches in How To Win Friends and Influence People.

Be Courageous. 

When dealing with the person with whom you have a strained relationship, low trust levels, and skepticism, you will need to be courageous.  Approaching it, addressing it and attacking it (the problem, not the person) takes a brave soul.  Your ‘adversary’ may be surprised or cynical or even unwilling to work through it.  However, the more you practice these steps with them, the more they will see your efforts are sincere.  Being courageous also means you won’t talk yourself out of it.  You may think you situation is hopeful, it can be repaired, these techniques might work for others, but what you’re dealing with is insurmountable.  To that argument I say, you might as well try anyway.  Don’t quit before you start!  If it doesn’t work, you’ve lost nothing.  But if it works, imagine the possibilities! 

Introverts can be Top Performers

Unfortunately, sometimes people make negative assumptions about those who are on the quieter side of the "Chatty Cathy" spectrum. Here we bust seven myths about quiet workers.

Myth No. 1: Quiet workers don't have a lot to offer
While this is a common misconception, quiet workers don't necessarily contribute less in a working environment than their chattier counterparts. Maya Townsend, founder of Boston-based management-consulting firm Partnering Resources, says that people often think that quiet workers are incapable of being credible sources of knowledge or serving as experts for an organization.

"Recently, I conducted an organizational network analysis with a client," Townsend says. "The leaders were surprised to discover that one of their quietest employees was actually deeply trusted and relied upon by his peers. He knew his stuff, and while he wasn't flashy about it, he was there when people needed him."

Myth No. 2: Quiet workers are shy
People often assume that quiet workers are shy. In reality, the way people behave at work doesn't necessarily reflect how they behave in their personal lives. Also, being quiet doesn't always originate from shyness.

Kera Greene, a career counselor at FEGS, a health and human-services provider based in New York, says it's not about being shy; it's about different personality types. "Quiet people are not necessarily shy. They may be introverts," Greene says. "Introverts prefer to work by themselves. They think better, work more efficiently and get energized that way. Extroverts accomplish the same goals by interacting with people. Shyness, or lack thereof, may actually have nothing to do with it."

Myth No. 3: Quiet workers aren't social
Quiet workers are often perceived as antisocial or as having few friends outside of work. If you're quiet at work, you might be the total opposite when you leave the office. While you may keep to yourself in a professional setting, your friends might consider you outgoing and quirky.

Myth No. 4: Quiet workers dislike their co-workers
If you're on the quieter side at work, it doesn't mean you dislike your colleagues. It's just a personality trait. Quiet people tend to communicate differently than outgoing people and have different comfort levels when it comes to social interaction.

Myth No. 5: Quiet workers think they're better than everyone else
Quiet workers may be perceived as snotty, but they might just be quiet. If you're an office extrovert, make an effort to get to know quieter co-workers. Try not to interpret their quiet nature as a negative quality. You might be surprised about how well you can work with them once you let go of assumptions and gain their trust.

Myth No. 6: Quiet workers are insecure
Quiet workers often get labeled as insecure about their skills. Being quiet is more of a personality trait and a comfort-level preference than a sign of low self-worth. Some workers let their work speak for itself, instead of bragging about their achievements. If extroverts pay enough attention, they will find that their quieter co-workers' contributions are on par with others in the organization.

Myth No. 7: Quiet people don't make good leaders
According to Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, executive coach and author of "The Introverted Leader," 40 percent of executives are introverts. "Introverts tend to be humble and not brag about themselves," she says. "They also take time to process their thoughts and are then incorrectly seen as slow or not 'go-getters.' We still hold a stereotype in Western cultures that leaders need to be aggressive and have Type-A personalities."

To better showcase their leadership skills, Kahnweiler suggests that quiet workers focus on increasing their visibility by getting involved in special interests groups, professional associations and community projects.

Key factors for retention of key talent

Attrition is a part of HR and a part of business. Some attrition is good and to be expected. But there are a number of key talent, or high performers in every organization that the organization cannot afford and doesn't want to loose.

There are dominate factors that affect an organization's ability to retain key talent. 

Those factors are:

Training – high performers need to know that the company is investing in them and concerned with their growth. Training prepared people to reach their full potential.

Feedback –this would include formal feedback such as performance appraisals as well as informal feedback and recognition.

Career planning and development – a known and communicated career path is important.

Engagement – key talent wants to be involved, included, informed and appreciated.

Compensation – Unless key talent is highly compensated --- not comparably or fairly, but highly --- there is an increased chance they will leave.

One strategist explains it this way. With an employee who is compensated below the midpoint of the salary range, there is a greater likelihood that she will be recruited by a different organization offering to pay her significantly more. A person, who is already compensated close to the maximum of the salary range is less attractive to the other organization simply because that organization cannot afford to make them an attractive salary offer.

An HR department has so many responsibilities: recruiting, filling jobs, training employees, managing employees, labor relations, health and safety, policies, diversity, planning, working conditions, analysis, and more. In all of this important work, we must not forget our key talent and what it takes to keep them.