36 at 36

On my 36th birthday, I journaled 36 reminders and commitments to myself, as I do every year.  I ran across it and thought I would share.

1. Pray

2. Go to bed on time.

3. Get up on time so you can start the day unrushed.

4. Say No to projects that won't fit into your time schedule,

or that will compromise your mental health.　



5. Delegate tasks to capable others.

6. Simplify and unclutter your life.

7. Less is more. (Although one is often not enough, two are often too many.)

8. Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.　


9. Pace yourself.

Spread out big changes and difficult projects over time;

don't lump the hard things all together.

10. Take one day at a time.

11. Separate worries from concerns.

If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety.

If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it.

12. Live within your budget; don't use credit cards for ordinary purchases.　


13.. Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet,

an extra house key buried in the garden, extra stamps, etc.

14. K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut).

This single piece of advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.

15. Do something for the Kid in You everyday.　


16. Carry a spiritually enlightening book with you to read while waiting in line.

17. Get enough rest.

18. Eat right.

19. Get organized so everything has its place.　


20.. Listen to a tape while driving that can help improve your quality of life…

21. Write down thoughts and inspirations.

22. Every day, find time to be alone.

23. Having problems? Talk to God on the spot.

Try to nip small problems in the bud.

Don't wait until it's time to go to bed to try and pray.

24. Make friends with Godly people.　


25.. Keep a folder of favorite scriptures on hand.

26. Remember that the shortest bridge between despair and hope

is often a good 'Thank you GOD ..'

27. Laugh.

28. Laugh some more!

29. Take your work seriously, but not yourself at all.

30. Develop a forgiving attitude (most people are doing the best they can).

31.. Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it the most).

32. Dismiss your ego.

33. Talk less; listen more.  (2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason)

34. Slow down & pay attention.

35. Remind yourself that you are not the general manager of the universe.  (Don't sweat the small stuff)

36. Every night before bed, write down one thing you're grateful that is unique to that day.

A Successful Frame of Mind

At a recent awards gala, Keynote speaker Tom Black discussed several keys of success.  The keys that stuck out to me are the ones focused on a successful mindset.  My reflections on some of them are: 

Be Happy Now.
          

            
Many times people say they are waiting for something before they will be happy - retirement, graduation, new car, new job, new house, marriage, divorce....  Why would one make the conscious decision to delay his/her own happiness?

Visualize your success.   Meditate on it.

         Think continually about what you want and how you can accomplish it.

Read inspirational material to encourage positive thinking.

            You will reap what you sow.  Plant positive messages to reap positive rewards.  

Remember that in every adversity there is a "seed for greater growth."

           It's our failures that help us find the path that works and the solution that fits.   Adversity quite simply makes us stronger, if we seize the opportunity to leverage it.  The Wright Brothers made over 2000 flight attempts over the course of some years before the "First Five Flights" documented in a book by the same title.   Abraham Lincoln was rejected for several public and private offices before being elected President.  Michael Jordan was kicked off his school's basketball team.

Offer No excuses.

         When it comes to excuses, there are two types of people; those who look for a way, and         those who look for  way out.  These are all factors you can control, or at least influence in your own life.  No finger pointing, no blame game.  No one to hold accountable... BUT YOU!

What If You Got Fired Today?

Here are Seven Tips for insuring against unemployment by keeping yourself memorable, relevant, and therefore employable:

Be thankful. At the end of each workday, write down one thing you enjoyed or appreciated about that day. This is what is commonly known as a gratitude journal.  Or, send yourself an email with a few sentences: It might read something like this: "What I liked about today was how Abby handled the new client call. It makes me proud to be a part of her team." Small bits of gratitude remind you of why you took the job in the first place, and help reinforce your willpower to handle the rough times. Also, when you have really tough days looking back through these statements can be a healthy coping mechanism.  Make sure your statement is actually job related. Don't write down: "I'm grateful that this day is over."   .  

Show gratitude. Everyday, email one colleague, vendor, or partner, and thank them specifically for something they've done for you. Showing your gratitude to others is just plain nice, but it also lets others know what you enjoy and would like to see from them. It doesn't have to be long: "Steve — just wanted to say that you did a great job at the planning meeting yesterday and I thought you handled the question about the 2013 budget cycle very professionally — Angela."  In life, our actions create reactions.  If you want to be more appreciated, start by being more appreciative.  It's also a great way to build relationships and increase motivation.

Have an opinion. Write an opinionated or even contrary blog or op-ed piece each month.  Encourage yourself and others to think outside the box. Make yourself memorable by expressing your ideas.  Need inspiration?: Read the NY Times Tech reporters Jenna Wortham and Nick Bilton — they write on cutting edge technology. Sign up for services like Huntington Post, as well.  Additionally, you could use your Facebook, twitter, LinkedIn, or blogger account for this purpose.


Stay connected. Once a year, reach out to your former bosses, let them know how you're doing, and find out how they are doing. Anybody who has invested time, effort, and attention to get you where you are today, should continue to be a part of your network!  Tell them periodically how the skills they taught you are still helpful to you today.  Another idea is to send them greeting cards for holidays or birthdays.  They will be pleasantly surprised that you bothered to review their Twitter or Facebook profile to find out their birthday.

Stay in touch. Once a month, go to lunch with a colleague from your past, a former co-worker or a college classmate. Face-to-face, nacho-to-nacho, is the only way to keep true human relationships going. So break bread, grab a drink, or meet for an after-work power walk to share your experiences and trials.

Connect with new contacts. Go through all your contacts, e-mails, and those stacks of business cards you've collected.  Find fifty people from your industry that you wouldn't ‘normally' speak with in the next year. Assign those fifty people to the next fifty weeks — one person per week.  Each week, e-mail just one person with a reminder that you exist and that you remember them: You might say "Hi There Sherry, I was just thinking about how great it was to meet you at the expo in Miami. I wonder if that re-engineering project of yours ever finished! Please stay in touch and if you're ever in my area, please let me know.  I can make some restaurant and entertainment recommendations!"

Stay Educated.  It's important that you are aware of the latest trends, challenges, and even leaders in your industry.  Stay current on technology.  In other words, stay relevant.  Look for books, workshops, and professional organizations that can help you with this pursuit.

The worst time to get up to speed on your tech skills, put on a positive demeanor and whet your networking whistle is when you find yourself laid off or about to be laid off.

Practicing these Seven Tips proactively can help you safeguard yourself.  It doesn't mean you won't get laid off.  That's beyond your control.  But, to does mean you'll be prepared and in the best position possible, if the worst should occur.  It's your unemployment insurance -- it's called EMPLOYABILITY.


For career coaching, employee development, and performance improvement workshops visit:
Enhance Business Solutions, llc

Elmo Meets "The Talker."

Recently, I blogged about a know-it-all who attended one of my seminars; She continually interrupted and created quite a disturbance for everyone.

Well, when it rains it pours!  I had a new challenge this week:  THE TALKER.

While teaching a project management seminar somewhere in Tennessee, I encountered a gentleman who just wouldn't be quiet!

He was very friendly and kind with lots of stories to tell.  In fact, for every point I made, he had a story, joke, or bit of news to accompany it.  Sometimes his tales weren't related to the topic; but I suppose in his mind there was some correlation.  The first two stories were cute and a nice break from the lecture.  After all,  I don't want to be the only one talking.  I encourage interaction, and organized discussion.   By lunchtime, however, the entire group was rolling their eyes every time "Ralph" shared a idiom or quip.  

There were occasions when I had to interrupt Ralph and ask him to give others a chance to speak.  And, at the end of the first day -- this was a three-day event -- I asked him to agree to limit himself to three stories the following day.  

When these kinds of distractions occur, it's not just a disruption for me,  it can also be a problem for the other attendees.  I had to repeatedly remind Ralph of the importance of maintaining our schedule and staying on track.  I suggested over and over again that we continue on and not lose focus;  I also reminded him that while he is eager to speak, there are others in the room who have needs, too. 

Part of my role as facilitator is the maintain order and balance at every event.  My favorite technique for dealing with any person(s) who continually interrupts is the ELMO technique.  I bring a small Sesame Street Elmo doll with me to every event.  I establish at the beginning of the session that we will be using Elmo to maintain order and balance in the session.   I explain to the attendees that if we are ever stuck on a tangent, disagreement, or off-topic sidebar, I will toss Elmo to the involved party.  That will be his or her queue that it's time to end the discussion.  Why Elmo?  Because it stands for Enough.  Let's Move On!   

Just Say No!!

Let's not call it saying no. Let's call it offering an alternate version of yes.

 

You've got more on your plate than you can possibly deal with, yet every time someone ask you to take on an additional responsbility you agree.  Consider this, you're not doing them or yourself any favors in the long run.  You work output could suffer if your too tired or unfocused to give your best.  Also, you're not helping them to help themselves, so they will continue to be dependent.

 

Here's how it's to change the outcome of these tricky and sticky situations.

First, express your understanding of and empathy for the other person's situation. You are tell them that you know their issue is important and you want to help.

 

"Bob, sounds like you have a very pressing matter on your hands.  I want to help you."

Next, state your situation. Explain what you have on your plate, what your working on, and your deadlines. This helps you justify why you can't drop everything to address their issue. Explain, if needbe, your priroties for the day.

 

"However, I'm working on a report for the VP of sales and I need to have it finished by 11am."  [Remember, the 11 am deadline may be self imposed.]

Then, suggest a different way to handle it; or a different time when you're available to assist. You could even refer the person to another person who is better equipped to assist. Consider directing them to a resourceswhere they can get the help they need.

 

"How about we talk today between 2 and 2:30pm?  I'll have time to devote to you then."

 

Or,

 

"Marie is the best person to assist with {Bob's issue}.  She's our resident expert on that subject.   If she can't help you then let me know and we'll find you another resource."

 

 

A One-Armed Man Can't Be a Kickboxer!

One thing we know for sure if you are a one-armed man, you can't be a kickboxer.  The challenges are too great,  insurmountable really.  That is, unless you're Baxter Humby and you think that's all the excuses and limitations are a bunch of baloney.  If you were Humby you would reject other people's naysaying.  You would believe that because you are here, you can win if you try.  You would know that you are your only really opponent. 

So what are you allowing to hold you back?  What would happen if you took the brakes off?    What could happen if you try something you or others say you can't do?   You might learning something.  You might learn something about yourself.  You just might win.

www.yourenhance.com  |  consulting, coaching, training

The Challenges of Training: Get Back on Track or You'll have a Real Mess on Your Hands

Every now and then there is that person in one of my training classes who is disagreeable or, quite frankly, a know-it-all.  This is the individual who believes she knows more than the instructor (me).  This person also has a comment or contradiction for every point I make.  Now, it is possible that this individual actually does know more than I do about the topic at hand.  Nevertheless, their organization hired me to come and impart wisdom, knowledge and education to the group in attendance.  I have an obligation to deliver the message I was hired to deliver and accomplish the goals I was hired to accomplish.

Recently I was in Florida conducting a seminar for a client.  One woman in attendance began the day by telling me "I hope you can teach me something I don't already know."   I told her that I plan on doing just that.  Little did I know that was the first of many comments she would make that would escalate in rudeness throughout the day.   

Our First Bump in the Road

Every time, I would share information with the group she would say something like "that's not the way we do it here."   The first time,  I simply asked "how do you do it here?"  And, then I added "how can we better that process using some of the tools I'm sharing with you today?"     

She made the same remark a few more times to which I replied  "Diane (name changed to protect the innocent) there must be something about the current way of doing things that's not working for your upper management.  I believe that's why they asked me to come and share some ideas for improvement today."  This seems to end her "we don't do it that way" diatribe but that wasn't the end of interruptions from Diane.

Unfriendly Fire

There were several times in the afternoon when I would share a technique with the group and Diane would add "what Angela is trying to say is.... {and she would proceed to rephrase what I had just stated}.  I've been in the training industry for more than a decade and I have experienced all sorts of hecklers, potty-mouths, and you name it.  But this particular comment was a new experience for me.  The 1st time Diane said it, I ignored her; the second time I thanked her for sharing her thoughts;  the next (and last)  time I asked the group:  "Is anyone having trouble understanding me?  Am I being unclear?"   To which they replied, "no".  So, I said, "in that case Diane I don't think we'll need you to rephrase every statement for us. If we continue at this pace, this 3-hour seminar will take twice as long.  And, I also want to give others a chance a speak, ask questions, and be heard."  She apologetically, and reluctantly agreed to remain silent.  I could see the looks of relief and gratitude on the faces in the room.  Diane just pulled out her iPad on started working on that instead.   

I will admit that Diane was quite knowledgeable about the subject matter we were discussing that day.  And, she seemed to feel it was her obligation to let everyone who how knowledgeable she was.  But, as I said,  there's a reason I was asked to come and I have to do what I was hired to do, without exception.   Well, there have been a few exceptions:  like the times I had to end training classes because of bomb threat, hurricane warning/evacuation, and a power outage.  But those are different stories for a different day.  

The motto of today's story is:   Be firm but polite in shutting down an interrupter.  You have to let them know who's in charge.  Letting the person continue to take control of the event hurts the content, changes the agenda, and is a disturbance to others.  This kind of behavior can't be ignored.