MINDSETS THAT LEAD TO UNBREAKABLE RESULTS

 

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Four Power Mindsets -- Change your thinking and change your life!

 Four Power Mindsets -- Changing your thinking can lead to success

No matter what goals you’re trying to accomplish, the right mindset can put you closer to accomplishing them.  In my coaching work, I’ve found that financial woes, relationship issues, career stallers, and family conflicts can be minimized over time.  And the road to recovery often starts with how we think about these challenges.  Here are a few ways to reframe cynical or negative thinking.  Once you clear out these harmful thought processes, you can start to strategize in productive ways that will yield results.

1. Have an Attitude of gratitude.  Begin every day and every situation mindful of what you are grateful for.  You can walk around your home and literally touch things and people you appreciate. Be grateful for the things that you can feel – such as love, the warm sun, and happiness. Remember also to be grateful for the things that you can't see like fresh air,  a safe environment, and health.  Every year on my birthday all right down all the things that I'm grateful for. And I write down as many things as the number I of years I've been alive. When I turned 40, for example, I recorded 40 things I'm grateful for.   The idea behind this is to go beyond the basic things we might acknowledge, see, or appreciate every day.  Things like family, a home, and your job. I wanted to really think about every aspect of my life and search every corner of my mind to identify things for which I’m  grateful, even if I don't often think about them.  Find pictures that represent things you appreciate in your life – search online, in magazines, on your phone, and on your social media.  If you’d like to create a physical, tangible board, print out these images and paste them onto a big poster board.  Keep this in a place where you will see it daily.  A gratitude board can also be done electronically by pasting pictures to an electronic ‘whiteboard’ or notepad.  This is a fun exercise to do with a family member and a super way to start off a new year.

2.     Consider your priorities (values and needs) before you make important decisions.  The things that really matter most to you will show up in three areas of your life. They will show up in how you spend your time. They will show up in how you spend your money. And they will show up in what makes you smile. Most adults have a preset list of values - family, security, health, etc.  Those are the things we know intuitively that should be important to us.  But these things aren’t truly your values unless you behave according.  For instance, can one really say family is important if one rarely sees, calls, or spends time with them? Arguably not.  Identify your true values and write them down.  Then write why they matter to you.  I do this with clients whom I coach. I ask them to record their organization’s values.  They often write down things like equality, communication, or innovation.  Then I ask them to share the belief ( the why) behind each value.  For example - our value is equality. We believe all people are equal and deserve to be respected and treated with integrity.   Here is an assignment for you to complete -  Make a list of your values and the whys (beliefs) that support them. After you write them say them out loud.  You'll find it easier to stand up for your values, honor them, and even express them to others as a result of this simple process.  Writing it down makes it real and saying it aloud brings it to life.  And, brings you one step closer to living your values,  unapologetically.

3. Don't compare yourself with others.  It’s easy to look at social media and see the best of everyone and everything.  In the virtual world, your associates post the best parts of their vacations, parties, and celebrations.  We don't see any arguments, sadness, family conflict, breakups, or defeat.  Only glorious, victorious happiness.  It could give you the impression that everyone is doing better than you. But what you see there -- what others are willing to present of themselves -- doesn't matter. Stay focused on you -- what matters to you, your priorities, your goals.  Remain fixated on meeting your own needs and values. Have you ever seen a documentary about lions?  The lion is stalking its prey -- perhaps a gazelle or a zebra.   The lion is on a mission; it's not concerned with the antics of its prey.  The lion has it's own priorities -- its own survival and the survival of its offspring.  It has a job to do and is focused on that.   It doesn't have anything to prove to anyone, it’s not comparing itself to other Lions.  Each day, when you wake up, think like that lion waking up on the Serengeti.  Commit yourself to the tasks of the day.  Remind yourself why your priorities matter.  Reconsider your purpose -- what you want and why you want it.  These reflections can ignite your motivation and actions each day.
   
   
4. Seek sage advice from someone who has achieved what you're trying to achieve.  When you talk about something you want to achieve with family or colleagues, you'll get all sorts of opinions.  They'll tell you what you should or shouldn't do.  They might share their fears or concerns.  Or, they might point out what it won't work.  Some might even try to talk you out of your aspirations.  It's not right, but it's okay.  The best person to talk to when you contemplate the next steps is someone who has already done something similar.  Seek out a mentor, advisor, or even devil’s advocate who has traveled the road you are on.  They can give you a relevant perspective, rather than just a list of cons, doubts, and cynicism.
   Solicit lessons learned and best practices that will assist you on your journey.  Be prepared to discuss the risks and rewards – it may not all be what you want to hear, but it will all be relevant to you.

With these mindsets, you’ll be better positioned to perform confidently and consistently in all areas of your life.  Any new action starts with the right mindset.  Your mindset fuels your beliefs.  Your beliefs drive your actions.  Your actions create your future.  

Using Questions and Conversations To Build Trust

 I'm a part of a program called Ask The Experts. Participants join our weekly to ask other coaches and me questions about leadership.  One attendee asked a question about building trust.  He said he understands the importance of building trust with his team members. However, he was struggling to figure out how to do it,  how would he put this into practice?  

I advised him to start by scheduling a conversation with each employee.  Even if a leader has never conducted one-on-one meetings before, one can start by being intentional.  Let the employees know the purpose of the talk.  It could go something like this:

"I want to be the best manager I can be and support you the way you need to be supported.  So I want to share my thoughts and expectations. But first, I want to gather your thoughts and expectations of me.  So let me start by asking a few questions."

Then the leader would proceed with a few questions to foster meaningful discussion and candid sharing.  Here are the wordings I recommended during our Ask The Experts session:

• What are your top three expectations of me as your leader?

This gives the team permission to share what they need.  It opens the door for candor. 

• What motivates you other than the paycheck?

This provides insight into what's most important to that team member.  It also empowers the leader to recognize them and reach them in ways that are meaningful to each team member.

• How can I better support you and help you get things done/be successful? 

• Are there any areas where you need help -- roadblocks or obstacles, standing in your way?

These two questions are pretty similar. But one asks what they need and the other asks what they are experiencing. Often these two questions, generate very different responses.

• How can our team do a better job in some key areas, including 1. communication  2. decision making, and  3. accountability?

Personalize this question to best fit and benefit your team.  Your key areas might be different than these.  When you ask this you give the team member targeted areas to think about that impact team efficacy. 

• What do you need more of and less of from me?

Prepare for answers such as fewer meetings, fewer interruptions, more autonomy, and more coaching and mentoring. And remember these questions are conversation starters. You're not just going through the list of questions;  you are engaging in a conversation to better understand. Therefore be sure to ask follow-up questions as needed.

Then, share your expectations of your employees.    Performance expectations are important, but they aren't the focus of this discussion.  Of course, every leader wants a high-performing team.  Share norms, and expectations that foster communication and teamwork:    For example:  'I expect you to come to me if you have a problem or question';   "I expect you to schedule at least one meeting with me each month"; or  "I expect everyone to share ideas during our brainstorming meetings."

Most importantly once this discussion is over you, the leader, need to devise a plan of how to leverage the information you've gained.  Advise your team of the steps you are taking or plan to take. This will let them know you heard and valued their thoughts.   

As a coach, I ask lots of questions.  They are a way of breaking down communication barriers and creating transparency.  I often advise my clients to use questions to deepen relationships as well.  We always learn more when we're listening than we do when we're talking. 

Angela Ellis is a coach, speaker and consultant with Enhance Business Solutions.  She can be reached here:  www.enhancecoach.net

Leadership News and Views

 

The Core of Emotional Intelligence

 

Emotional Intelligence is a popular topic right now.  I'm asked to speak and facilitate on this topic every month.  My clients are realizing, more than ever, that people are processing and expressing feelings differently.  And, we all need to know how to express our feelings effectively.  In the workplace, our feelings are connected to our values and needs.  When our values and needs are met, we feel and respond differently than when they are not.  Here is a brief excerpt from a recent Emotional Intelligence session.

Angela, enhance coach

Breaking Down Bias

 This video provided a few passages from a 90-minute session.