Using Questions and Conversations To Build Trust

 I'm a part of a program called Ask The Experts. Participants join our weekly to ask other coaches and me questions about leadership.  One attendee asked a question about building trust.  He said he understands the importance of building trust with his team members. However, he was struggling to figure out how to do it,  how would he put this into practice?  

I advised him to start by scheduling a conversation with each employee.  Even if a leader has never conducted one-on-one meetings before, one can start by being intentional.  Let the employees know the purpose of the talk.  It could go something like this:

"I want to be the best manager I can be and support you the way you need to be supported.  So I want to share my thoughts and expectations. But first, I want to gather your thoughts and expectations of me.  So let me start by asking a few questions."

Then the leader would proceed with a few questions to foster meaningful discussion and candid sharing.  Here are the wordings I recommended during our Ask The Experts session:

• What are your top three expectations of me as your leader?

This gives the team permission to share what they need.  It opens the door for candor. 

• What motivates you other than the paycheck?

This provides insight into what's most important to that team member.  It also empowers the leader to recognize them and reach them in ways that are meaningful to each team member.

• How can I better support you and help you get things done/be successful? 

• Are there any areas where you need help -- roadblocks or obstacles, standing in your way?

These two questions are pretty similar. But one asks what they need and the other asks what they are experiencing. Often these two questions, generate very different responses.

• How can our team do a better job in some key areas, including 1. communication  2. decision making, and  3. accountability?

Personalize this question to best fit and benefit your team.  Your key areas might be different than these.  When you ask this you give the team member targeted areas to think about that impact team efficacy. 

• What do you need more of and less of from me?

Prepare for answers such as fewer meetings, fewer interruptions, more autonomy, and more coaching and mentoring. And remember these questions are conversation starters. You're not just going through the list of questions;  you are engaging in a conversation to better understand. Therefore be sure to ask follow-up questions as needed.

Then, share your expectations of your employees.    Performance expectations are important, but they aren't the focus of this discussion.  Of course, every leader wants a high-performing team.  Share norms, and expectations that foster communication and teamwork:    For example:  'I expect you to come to me if you have a problem or question';   "I expect you to schedule at least one meeting with me each month"; or  "I expect everyone to share ideas during our brainstorming meetings."

Most importantly once this discussion is over you, the leader, need to devise a plan of how to leverage the information you've gained.  Advise your team of the steps you are taking or plan to take. This will let them know you heard and valued their thoughts.   

As a coach, I ask lots of questions.  They are a way of breaking down communication barriers and creating transparency.  I often advise my clients to use questions to deepen relationships as well.  We always learn more when we're listening than we do when we're talking. 

Angela Ellis is a coach, speaker and consultant with Enhance Business Solutions.  She can be reached here:  www.enhancecoach.net

Leadership News and Views

 

The Core of Emotional Intelligence

 

Emotional Intelligence is a popular topic right now.  I'm asked to speak and facilitate on this topic every month.  My clients are realizing, more than ever, that people are processing and expressing feelings differently.  And, we all need to know how to express our feelings effectively.  In the workplace, our feelings are connected to our values and needs.  When our values and needs are met, we feel and respond differently than when they are not.  Here is a brief excerpt from a recent Emotional Intelligence session.

Angela, enhance coach

Breaking Down Bias

 This video provided a few passages from a 90-minute session.   

Employee Engagement During Unusual Times

 Please click the link to begin this 45-minute recorded webinar

https://www.bigmarker.com/middle-tennessee-shrm/Employee-Development-in-Unusual-Times?bmid=00b3582945c5

Many employees are working from home.  Sometimes, it might feel like they are missing in action.  Well, it feels that way for them too!  Keep them connected, committed and engaged with a few practical tips.

B.L.E.N.D. Your Virtual Meetings with These Must Dos

 

Yesterday CNN reported that a top executive at NY Times lost his job.  He was fired because of inappropriate conduct.  He was doing some unmentionable things during a zoom meeting.  

It just goes to show that common sense is not so common.  Your coworkers and clients don't want to see you smoking and drinking.  They don't want to hear you yelling at your kids or going to the bathroom.  They don't want to see your underwear or your husband's shirtless body.    

Think of it this way:  the things you wouldn't do during a meeting AT the office you shouldn't do during a virtual meeting either. 

Here are a few tips to make your virtual meeting as professional as possible:

B – Background. An empty background (such as a blank wall) is better than a cluttered or busy background. Try to make sure there is no movement in your background, if possible.

 

L – Lighting. An easy way to improve lighting is to take the shade off a lamp or two and place it behind your computer. You will look better and it will fill out shadows. Note that bright sunlight from windows can cause lighting issues.

 

E – Elevate (or eliminate) your behavior.  Don’t leave abruptly.  Don’t do things that are distracting to you or others.  Think about what you would and wouldn’t do if you were in your boss’ office or sitting in a conference room with others.

 

N – Noise. Improve sound quality by connecting a set of headphones that have an integrated microphone to your computer. Headphones that come with smartphones work well. This eliminates echoes and improves sound quality when you speak. They can also drown out background noise.

 

D – Dress. Always dress professionally to portray leadership, commitment, and presence for your audience and participants.  You are still making an impression, even if it is a virtual impression.

 

No One Is More Invested In You Than YOU!

My client told me she was disappointed her boss didn't take an active role in her professional development. I explained that while it would be nice to have that level of support there are plenty of things she could do to foster her own development and get noticed.  We created a list and here are some of the things she did to take charge of her future:

Enroll in a professional development program.  We identified a 9-week program focused on executive presence and influence.  These types of programs typically take place at night or on the weekend.  My client invested in this out of her own pocket. She decided she was worth the time and money; and no one else had to give her permission to invest in herself.  On the job, she would share what she learned with her boss.  She also demonstrated new skills of which her boss took notice.   The fact that she was committed to her career and growth was pretty impressive in and of itself.  Her boss was so impressed he offered to reimburse her for the cost of the program.

Engage in mentorship. Anyone with more than 10 years professional experience is in a prime position to be a mentor and have a mentor.  We often hear about the benefits of having a mentor. The benefits of being a mentor are just as strong. You have an opportunity to engage with someone who may have a different generational or demographic background.  Being a mentor presents an opportunity to learn what other people value and need in today's workplace.   And there's an opportunity to develop your own leadership skills in this formal or informal role.  There are professional organizations that help connect mentors and mentees too.

Find a professional organization specific to your field.   There are professional organizations for most careers.  I have had clients in nursing, education, engineering, accounting, technology, nonprofit management, finance, entertainment, government, and manufacturing.  All of them participate in profession-specific or industry-specific groups.  If you don't find one that suits you, do something about it.  Start a group on LinkedIn, Facebook or Meetup to attract and invite like-minded professionals in your arena. With just a simple search, I found organizations for women in construction; African Americans in human resources; and brown girls in politics.  Start engaging others with whom you identify and then schedule regular meetings to share ideas, solve problems and address needs.

Your career, as well as your development is yours to own.  You have the power.  Don't let anyone take it away.

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