What You Say Says Alot About You.

Noted author and human behavior specialist, Marshall Goldsmith, conducted a survey of 200 employees recently.  The results reveals one resounding truth:  We bash our bosses.

Many of us take jabs at our boss at work when we’re talking to co-workers. We bad-mouth our bosses after work to anyone who will listen.  And we even talk trash about our bosses on weekends when we’re with our most captive audience – our family. Astoundingly, workers spend about fifteen hours a month doing this.

A little bit of boss bashing is understandable. Its how many people vent their frustrations and release stress.  But, the potential therapeutic gains are often outweighed by the negative impacts.

What do you accomplish when you critique a person who isn't even in the room? They can’t respond to what you’re saying.  They can’t explain (or defend) themselves.  Certainly, no corrective action or improvements can be expected.  It’s a completely unproductive exercise.

In fact, the only thing you may succeed in changing is your reputation.  Your colleagues’ opinion of you could be tarnished when they discover you tend to gossip about and slander teammates.  Your remarks may come across as petty or even belittling.  Sound business teachings tell us to be respectful of people when they are absent; don’t talk about them behind their backs. In the book Speed of Trust, Stephen Covey calls it ‘showing loyalty’. 

The reality is this:  Boss bashing doesn't build better bosses. Imagine what you could accomplish if you dedicated fifteen hours to something substantive like going back to school or spending quality time with your spouse.  The next time you start to bash your boss, think about what you may be doing to yourself and those around you. If you have a legitimate issue that needs to be addressed, put on your brave face and talk to your boss about it.  The book, Crucial Conversations, gives some great pointers on this.  If you feel you can’t talk to leadership, consider whether or not you really have (or want) a future at that organization.  You have options; it’s up to you.

Focusing on Just One Thing

Picture this.  You just unloaded clothes from the dryer and you're heading down the hallway to your bedroom or living room to sort and fold.  If you're not transporting the clothes in a basket, inevitably you will drop something -- a sock or someone's unmentionables perhaps. So, what do you do? Even though you're already struggling to hold everything, you'll attempt to pick up that fallen article.  You don't fold the clothes and then go back for it;  you go get it right away.  Your focus becomes that ONE thing.  It's not that the other things aren't important; but that ONE occupies your mind.  

Over the last few weeks, I've been planning my wedding.  Most everything in my life is managed in terms of how it aligns, conflicts, or helps with that event.  Homecoming is post-wedding.  The yard sale is pre-wedding.   But, the impending marriage is the focus.  Everything else simply falls somewhere around it.   The other things are important and I can give them attention as needed, but they are not my main focus.

We as humans tend to focus on one thing; even though we attempt to multitask we tend to have one track minds.   Think about the last time you were doing more than one thing simultaneously.  You might be washing dishes while talking to a friend on the phone.  In that case your probably paying attention to the phone conversation and not focusing on the dishes.  Two things that require your full attention wont equitably coexist.  That's why we shouldn't text while driving.  We can't be attentive to both at the same time -- We have one track minds.  

Since we function best with one focus at a time, I challenge you to concentrate on just one thing.  What is the one thing you should  accomplish, improve or complete?  There may be several, but truthfully you can't focus on them all at once.  You need to achieve one thing, check it off the list, and move on to the next big thing.  Whether its procrastinating less, reading more, or working out more often, you need to focus on the one thing and make it your priority. Continually look for ways, moments, and resources to work at that one thing.  Don't forgot about those other important tasks, jobs, and roles, but keep your focus.  

And, give it your all!

What Entrepreneurs Have In Common

What does it take to be a successful entrepreneur and do you have what it takes?  Well, it depends on how you measure success first of all.  Nationwide, entrepreneurs earn about $44,000 in annual revenue. Business ownership is not a get-rich-quick career move.  In fact, most entrepreneurs never get rich. 

Nevertheless, entrepreneurial benefits are more than just financial. In surveys, many of them site a sense of accomplishment, fulfillment, and autonomy as rewards they enjoy as independents.  

Here are some other attributes they tend to have in common.

Entrepreneurs:

1.  Manage money wisely.

2. Do what they love.


3.  Take their work seriously.


4.  Plan ahead and stay organized.
5.  Ask for what they want.


If you are considering stepping out on your own, ask yourself if you have these competencies.  If not, are you willing to discipline yourself to improve your performance in these area?  

Focus on what is life changing not eye pleasing

There is a truism that states that people tend to think more highly of things which are comely.  Comely is an obsolete Latin term which means 'pleasing in appearance' or simply attractive.   We don’t care for the unattractive parts of life however it’s those parts which we should give the most thought, time, and attention.  Those are the most important parts – the parts that make our bodies, the world and most everything in it, functional and relevant.  It’s the inside of the human body that is messy and unattractive; but everything in there – the heart, lungs, blood, muscles, and tissues, keep the body alive.  The inside of a car -- the engine, transmission, fluids, battery, etc— is dirty and oily.  It’s certainly not as sleek, shiny, or sculpted as the car’s body.  But without those inner workings, the car would be a useless shell.   

As that adage claims the parts that are less comely, we should treat with special honor.   Those are the parts that have a more abundant purpose than the attractive parts which “have no need.”  We have to learn to honor those things which are honorable.  They may not be as beautiful to look at, or as fun to experience, but they are important – even essential. 

Our trials in life are difficult and undesired.  But they are most important than the easy, breezy times.  Through those trials we learn our virtues, establish our values, and gain life-changing lessons. 

Our failures are no fun either.  We can leverage them, however, to lead us to future successes.

There is more to be learned from our losses than from our wins.  Our wins are validating and they feel good.  But our losses go so much further to confirm our endurance and purpose, as well as strengthen our hope and courage.

You may think your best feature is your beautiful smile, or an great pair of legs.  But, you can live without those.  You couldn't survive without your heart and mind.  Therefore, those are the parts you should nourish and treasure.  

I'm not a robot; how am I supposed to do that?

A new concept was introduced into the American workforce some decades ago.  That is:  Leave your emotions at the door.  Better yet, leave them home.  I question this concept: If a worker is concerned about an ailing spouse he should never be distracted?  If a colleague is going through bankruptcy, that won't ever reflect in her attentiveness?  When someone is struggling with a nasty divorce, his morale should never be affected?  Many organizations are finding that this isn't a realistic expectation. 

Many employers, bosses or supervisors don't want feelings in the workplace and certainly don't want the negative impacts they could have on the workplace.  But, the truth is, organizations benefit from certain emotions. Passion helps the organization succeed. Excitement is encouraged because it boosts morale.  Energy and happiness are good because they increase productivity.  But when an employee exhibits fear, frustration, or disappointment they might be told to "leave it at the door".   

As leaders, we often don't realize that a person's fears can lead them to make careful decision-making.  We overlook the possibility that a person's frustration could stem from valuable past experience.   And, do leaders stop to consider that when someone seems disappointed it could be because they care deeply about an issue? 

The workforce is made up of people and people have feelings.  Instead of discouraging them, acknowledge and nurture them.  Find out what's causing those emotions. Make it a part of the
conversation.   This could lead to powerful sharing of ideas, rationale, and possibilities.  

Help Wanted: Only Imperfect Leaders Need Apply

Many words are commonly used to describe a leader: 

• good communicator, 
• passionate, 
• decisive, 
• knowledgeable, and 
• competent 

We seldom use words like flawed or imperfect.  But all leaders are flawed and imperfect.  And that's okay.  They don't have to know everything or be skilled at everything.   Many times I've heard people say,  "the person I report to has never done my job.  He doesn't even know what I do."  

I say, 'he doesn't have to be an expert at your job to provide you with leadership.  You need to be an expert at your job NOT your boss.  If he's giving you the support, direction, feedback, and resources you need, he IS doing his job'.  

Leaders get to make mistakes too.  In fact, no one has to be error-free in order to advance to a leadership role.  If that were the requirement, none of us would ever get promoted.  It's because of those mistakes that leaders are able to learn lasting lessons, improve, and share their experiences.  I've said it before, I'll say it again..

We learn more from wins than from losses.  We develop more from mistakes than from successes.  Failure is not final.

If you feel like you're not getting what you need from your leader, it might be time for a courageous conversation.   Explain to your leader what you need from him/her.   Ask what he/she expectations of you.  Discuss work and leadership styles and share which ones will allow you to be most productive (i.e. autonomy versus continual supervision;  solo assignments versus team projects). 

Throughout the conversation, make it clear that there is something in it for your leaders, too.  For example, let them know you are most productive when you have independence.  Or, share that you can save them time and money if you have clear directions upfront. 

In essence, it's your leaders job to lead, not to be perfect.  And, it's your job to do your job AND make sure you ask for the leadership you need.

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In The Words of Elsa, from Disney's Frozen...

A colleague of mine recently told me that she is concerned about how potential employers view her when she applies for jobs. She seems to view herself as unemployable because of some physical limitations from which she's still recovering.  The notion that employers couldn't value her seems to come from one central place; she had stopped valuing herself (at least professionally).

I shared my story with her in return.  I have vertigo, which affects my equilibrium.  Balancing while standing still is tough for me because I feel like I'm moving even when I'm not.  I have a few coping mechanisms.  I rock back and forth, or shift my weight from side to side.  I also tend to lean against things (like a wall or podium) to keep me steady.  My colleague was shocked to hear this because I'm a professional speaker and need to stand in front of large groups all the time.  I told her that when I first started noticing signs of vertigo I was concerned that I wouldn't be able to do my work as effectively anymore.    I was worried that occasionally loosing my balance and stumbling, would make me appear... well... drunk.  She chuckled.  I'm sure it seems absurd that something so minimal could be perceived as a threat to my career.  

I explained that I view her situation the same way.  Just because she might have to make some minor adjustments to the way she works or to her work environment, doesn't stop her from offering a great deal to an employer.  In fact, most people probably won't notice her limitations; just like they don't notice my vertigo. 

She discovered that the only thing crippling her was her mind. I told her...
Let It Go!

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