Build Your Verbal Defenses

Things can go horribly right or horribly wrong when we communication.   If you are a student of the bible, you've noticed dozens of scriptures advising us to control/bridle/silence our tongues. 

If you're a student of life, I'll bet you've noticed similar messages in the media, old adages, and from advisers, spouses and friends.  

Here are three hurdles that prevent productive communication:

1. Facial expressions
2. Body language
3. Reactionary verbiage

Human Nature can be harmful.  Sure, it's natural to defend oneself when one feels offended.  It's natural to attack when one feels attacked.  But all these are reactionary.  What is more effective is a chosen response, rather than a hasty reaction.

When we don’t clear these hurdles, This creates emotional violence, which can be just as destructive as physical violence.

A victim mindset also creates conflict, or escalation of issues– when someone acts as if they don’t have dignity or deserve respect they end up being treated that way -- they are first a victim and THEN victimized.  The kid on the playground who sulks, looks at his feet, avoids others, and never socializes, becomes a target.  He gets teased, threatened, controlled, and abused.  Of course bullying is always wrong and never justified.  However, this kid is suggesting with his body language that he is a victim.  He is then treated like one.  

Here are some questions to ponder by yourself or to generate discussions with your team or staff. 

•   What are 3 words to describe you.  We are talking about your brand.  When you walk into a room, what should people instantly presume or deduce about you.

• What is professionalism – define it?

• How do you communicate in rough times?  It’s easy to communicate in a non-offensive,  gentle manner during good times.  Most people think they are better at this than they actually are.  After your next challenging conversation, confrontation, or argument, jot down some notes about what was said.  Did you use natural reactions based on human nature or well-crafted responses focusing on productivity?  

Efficiency is for things, effectiveness is for people.  Don’t be efficient with people.  Don’t focus on being organized and brief and controlling.

Let us know if we can help you create training programs or coaching sessions around this or other leadership/team building topics. 

www.yourenhance.com

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